Penance
by oh-the-melodrama
Summary: The past gets dredged up when Draco gets re-tried. A lengthy obsession, a failed romance, and lots of strange drama come to light. Can Harry save Draco? Can Draco save Harry? Are they both doomed?
1. Winter: My Memory Betrays

A/N:

first fan fic ever. please dont hate on me too hard. this will eventually be a romancey story, but starts pretty angsty. you have been warned.

I do not own any of these characters (obviously) because if I did, _I _would be married to Ron Weasley, not Hermione.

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**Draco**

I cannot tell you where I am. Its not that I don't want to tell you. Its not that at all. I wish I could. I wish I could tell you and have you swoop in and save me. I wish that I could be the one worthy of being saved this time. You have saved so many, but not me. Never me. I wish you would appear, and carry me off into the sunset, like in those fairy tales I pretended not to read. Those stories I pretended not to love. The ones where my prince would come and save me, and we would live happily ever after. I wish with all my heart that you would fix everything here. If only I could tell you… But, I can't.

I can't tell you, because I don't know. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here, or how long I have lay here, amongst the barely breathing bodies. I can feel my body deteriorating, slowly, painfully. I can feel the darkness seeping into my soul, breaking my spirit, blinding my eyes. The cold rain seeps in sometimes, but not often enough. The rain stings my eyes and the places where my skin has broken. The rain feels like bullets and shrapnel raining from the hell that I believe lies above, below, beside me.

The blood red rain falls from the bars. I cannot be sure what it is that stains the rain. Someone says that it is the blood of the fallen, the blood of the escaped, or the dead. Others try to explain the rust to me, how the rain creates it's own dye. To me, its all the same. Discarded, useless iron runs down on me. My face is stained with red and orange, not that it matters, not that I care. My pale, gaunt face hides all imperfections because I, by definition am imperfect.

My clothes billow on my bones. I am not made of much else these days. Bones, bones and a little skin. The shackles on my leg, the tattooed mark on my arm, they itch and burn my skin. They burn my soul. I am dirtier here than I have ever been before. But not because I lay motionless in the dust day after day, but because of the things I had to do to make it here.

Please come find me.

I'm lying under the crowded ceiling, staring at the lines that run from one side to the other. A series of small lines that must mark something, must mean something to someone. Who left these here? Was it me?

I cant remember.

I cannot tell you for sure why I am here. My memory fails to recall things for me. My memory betrays me like everyone I ever loved has. But I know it was bad. It had to have been bad. Terrible, soul crushing – bad. To have deserved this, to have asked for this, to have this, means I must have committed some crime so heinous, so heartbreakingly awful. To condemn someone to a life like this, is unthinkable. If only I could see the light again. If only I could see your face.

Save me.

Please save me.

**Harry **

I missed my alarm clock this morning somehow. But to be honest, I had nothing else to do today except lie in bed with Gin, so I wasn't too concerned. The sun streamed through my blinds and I reveled in the warm sunlight for a few moments as I gathered my wits about me to face the day.

I rolled over to snuggle in closer to Ginny, but her side of the bed was cold and empty. I lay there for a moment, just inhaling the smell of her shampoo. I sat up slowly feeling for my glasses and as I put them on I realized that the bathroom door was open. i swung my feet to the floor and padded over to the bathroom, after a quick glance I determined that Ginny was no where to be found. I slowly made my way downstairs stretching leisurely as I went.

As I rounded the corner into my kitchen I noticed a distinct lack of Ginny. Had she mentioned anything about going to work early? I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and on the pot, was a note from Ginny.

Dear Harry,

Unless you are completely blind, you will probably have noticed how we've grown apart over the years, how we lost all our fire, and passion. I am so sorry Harry. I love you so much, but that's just not enough anymore. I'm leaving you. Mother wants you to know that you are still welcome at the Burrow anytime.

-Ginny

I grabbed my coffee cup and the note and collapsed into my kitchen chair. I put my coffee down and dropped my head into my hands.

What.

The.

Fuck?

I feel so numb.

Is that normal?

**Hermione**

There's got to be something wrong with Harry, but I cant quite put my finger on it. Every time I ask, he swears he's fine and I'm going batty. He swears I'm turning into a real Mrs. Weasley – that I'm finally living up to my name. But I can tell that he's lying to me, deflecting.

Ever since Ginny left he just sits and wallows in his self pity. He waits around, pining, as if he is waiting for her to come back – which is absolutely preposterous because he knows she won't. Harry made his mistakes, so Ginny left. It's nothing _complicated_. There was no huge blowout there was no dramatic falling out. No one cheated, no one was abused, they didn't even fight much. They just fell out of love.

She finally got what she deserved if you ask me. Finally found someone who could love her right - not that harry didn't love her, because he did. But not in the way that he should have. He kept her around, leading her on, all the while not knowing that he didn't love her the way he should have. He loved her as a sister, not as a lover, even someone as dense as him should have realized that. I wait for the day when I can finally explain to him what I mean, the day he meets someone who lights him on fire the way he deserves, someone who makes him the boyfriend, husband, _man_ – that I know he can be. One day he will wake up and _know_ that he wasn't really in love with her.

I swear to Merlin that man is increbibly dense sometimes.

Men!

So oblivious! Especially when feelings are concerned.

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So thats chapter one. chapter two should be up in a few days :)


	2. Spring: Slowly Lit on Fire

**Chapter 2 – Spring: Reflections **

**Draco **

I woke to the crackling of my veins. Electricity runs through me, there is no other explanation. It feels like I am being slowly lit on fire. But not the way I used to wish it was with you. Not like that at all. Something inside me is angry, lashing out. It has to be angry. Nothing peaceful could ever cause me so much pain. I have never felt so much fear, or pain. This thing, it consumes me - but I don't know what it is.

Someone please tell me. Tell me what is going on.

My soul feels like it is slowly being ripped apart. I feel like I am dying more and more everyday - like my body has given my soul up and it leaves me bit by bit, running out of my body. Hopefully to somewhere beautiful. Somewhere where you are.

Today I made the mistake of looking in the dirtied, cracked mirror. My distorted face stared back at me. My hollow eyes stare emptily into hollow eyes. My bones so sharp they could cut glass. My lips cracked and broken. My eyes bruised from lack of sleep and lack of proper company. I am not well liked here.

Was I well liked anywhere?

Please don't answer that.

If there was a time I was beautiful, it is gone. The man who stares back at me is not the man that laughed and sneered and plotted. The man who stares back at me is broken and empty and dirty. So dirty.

Was I ever beautiful?

Wait. Don't answer that either.

But you were beautiful.

I remember that.

If my memory remembers one thing right, if one thing in my life is untainted… its you. It's always been you. But it's never been me. Not even when we were small. When we were small boys it was never me, even if I wanted it so badly. I wanted it to be me you smiled at, joked with, loved. I wanted to be engulfed in your halo, in your peculiar golden glow. I loved your aura, I loved your warmth. I was so jealous, I wanted it so badly.

So I did the only thing that I could.

I hated you.

So passionately.

Because if there is one thing I'm good at, its hating.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I love you.

I cant stop loving you.

I hate you.

**Harry **

Gods. I haven't felt like this since Sirius died. So numb, helpless, empty. What is wrong with me? I haven't left my bed in days. I just lay here thinking about everything. Everything I said and did. Dissecting every minute of our life just trying to figure out what I did wrong. Why she left.

Three months later and I can't accept the fact that she's gone. I still wake up in the night confused when my bed is cold. I still expect to hear the shower running when I wake up alone. I still find things that were hers in my closet, in my cupboards, under my bed. I've collected all her things into a box. But, I cant quite bring myself to give it back to her. It feels like that means I'm giving in. Giving up. Losing everything we ever had.

The strange thing is, that with her leaving, my apartment really hasn't changed that much. For her practically living with me, she certainly didn't have a lot of stuff here. A few pictures are gone, my bookshelf is sparser, her shampoo is gone from my shower, a drawer is half empty. But life here still looks the same. Maybe she's right. Maybe I never let her in enough, I was too guarded. She always complained that she felt like a visitor to my own little world. And now I cant help but think she might be right.

Hermoine's voice is screaming from my fire place again and I cant possibly fathom what it is she could want with me right now. She yells to me to lower my wards to let her through. Something about needing to have a talk.

I hear her stumble over the threshold like she does every single time she floos over. I hear her trip and curse her way towards me, all the while never really looking at her. She yells at me some more and I stare right past her. Not on purpose. My eyes just wont focus right.

After a few moments of huffing and pacing and angry Weasley-wife glares, she grabs ahold of my wrist. She pulls and pulls but never really makes any progress. She whips my blankets off and recoils at the smell of me. She wrenches open the curtains and the windows, letting the first real light ive seen in a week into my room.

She coaxes me out of bed with more of her grating voice and growled threats. She roughly shoves me towards the bathroom and I stumble like the undead across the floor. I slam the door behind me and run my hands through my greasy rats nest.

I stumble to the sink and just stare at myself for a few moments. My eyes look dull. My hair looks filthy. My teeth have accumulated a nasty film and I have a few days worth of beard running across my face. I look a mess to say the least.

I shower slowly. Letting the hot water wash away all the utter shite that has happened this year. Letting it wash away thoughts of her. I must have stood under the scalding stream for three quarters of an hour being baptized of my sins and my sorrows.

Wrapping a towel around my waist and stepping out of the shower, I caught my own reflection again. I looked brighter, cleaner. More hopeful. I charmed away my beard and brushed my teeth the muggle way, because magic never seems to rid teeth of that nasty film.

Its time to face the world.

Time for a new beginning.

**July – Hermoine **

The headlines this morning caused a bit of a rukus at our breakfast table.

"**Malfoy Heir to be Re-tried After 5 Years in Azkaban"**

To say Ron was displeased would be the understatement of the century. He was outraged that "Death Eater Scum" would be re-tried, only 5 years after the war. After talking him down for about an hour I thought it might be a good idea to go visit Jarry to both check on him and see how the news was affecting him. After hearing Ron whinge on and on for over a week about Harry not showing up to the Ministry, I thought it was long overdue that I make sure he was okay.

I hadn't known Harry had it so bad.

The second I popped through his floo I had known that he was in a bad state. This whole Ginny thing has wreaked havoc on him. He doesn't know how to be alone, never has. The stench of his apartment alone had me wretching on contact. The darkness was stifling.

Harry looked like he might not have moved in days.

I called out to him, but he didn't respond to me. He just stared up at the ceiling, completely unseeing. If I hadn't seen his chest rising and falling steadily, I would have assumed he was dead.

After much effort on my part, I managed to get him out of bed and into the shower. He looked like a desperate, broken man. Casting the appropriate house-keeping charms to clean his house, I thought long and hard about the tact of mentioning Malfoy. I decided that today was really not the time.

For now I just had to focus on getting Harry back on his feet.


	3. Summer: So Thoroughly Yours

**Chapter 3 – Fall: Remembering **

**Draco **

Fuck you. You and your posse of do-gooders. You and your glory.

I can't fucking stand you anymore.

I hate you. I hate you so much.

I hate the fact that I'm nothing and you're everything. Everything I never knew I wanted. Everything I wanted so badly it tore me up inside, made me so full of love and hate and jealousy and yearning. It made me want to explode. Made me want to scream and punch and kick and yell and touch. Oh, if I could only touch. It made me want to touch you so badly. To love you. That was the scariest part. The worst part. Wanting so badly what I knew I could never have. You could never love me.

I tried so hard to make you love me.

Who am I kidding?

I can't lie to myself anymore. Even I know that's not true.

How could you love the icy sneers, the snide remarks? How could you love a greasy little fuck like me? How could you love the plots and the evil that I radiated?

I couldn't make you love me.

So I did what I do best.

I made you hate me.

It was easier that way. The way your eyes lit on fire when you looked at me. The way you _looked_ when you were on fire. The pure anger. The way that I could light you up so _easily_. Not in the way that I wanted. But your attention was enough. It was enough for me..

And every time you punched me, broke my nose, kicked my ribs - every time you left a mark, I wore it, secretly proud that you marked me. I pretended that you had marked me to show everyone whose I was. Deep down that's what it was. Those bruises showed the entire world that you had spent the time to break me, to hurt me - which made me yours, if only for the few seconds that you snarled in my face and threw all your weight behind your fist. I was so thoroughly yours. As I lay in my bed later, I was yours. I thought of your face on fire. I thought of only you.

It was torture.

You were always my sweet, sweet torture.

I can't hate you.

I never could.

And what makes it so much worse?

Knowing that after five years - FIVE YEARS - will get to see you again. After all the time I've spent forgetting you. All the time I've spent trying desperately, desperately, not to think of you, wasted.

But you'll be there.

As the world's savior, you'll have to be there.

You'll be there, and I'll be on trial.

My life is in your hands now.

I'm sorry for everything.

**Harry **

Draco Malfoy.

Draco.

Fucking.

Malfoy.

There's a name I haven't heard in a while.

Five years to be exact.

I guess after everyone worked so hard to put all the Death Eaters away, no one really wanted to bring them back up. No one wanted to relive all the terrible memories of the war, the slaughter. No one wanted to think of everyone we lost.

But it's been five years now. So that means that minimum sentence for minor Death Eaters is coming to a close. It also means that the cases are being re-opened and re-evaluated. Which means Draco Malfoy, the infamous childhood bully, is being re-tried, and possibly released.

Bloody fuck.

I don't even know how I feel about all this.

I have to go to his trial. There's no question in my mind of that. I owe him and his mother that much after all they've done for me. I owe it to them to at least try to get him out. No matter how much I hate the poncey git, no one deserves to rot away in Azkaban for a crime they didn't want to commit and then tried to repent for.

I cant let him rot away in there any longer.

I'll have to talk to Hermione… but I'm sure she will think of something.

We only have a few months to get a convincing case together for him

I wonder if he's changed at all… I wonder if he's still the same Malfoy from school.

Will I still want him out if he is?

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this next chapter may take a little longer (seeing as i posted 3 chapters in 2 days... but fret not. it is a coming


	4. November 27th: Faceless Faces

**Chapter 4 – Late Fall: Amendment **

**Draco **

Dementors.

As much as I would never admit it to anyone, the dementors scare me as much as they do Potter. Their hooded faceless faces staring down at you, their bony fingers reaching, their gaping, soul sucking mouths just waiting to get a hold of your shiny little fragments of life that you keep chained away. I don't trust them. I never have. Not when I got here. Not now.

The sub-freezing temperature of my holding cell alerts me to their presence long before their ragged breathing and hands hitting up against the indestructible metal bars. I am sitting, tensed, waiting, long before they can catch me by surprise. I have vowed to never sleep in their presence, a vow I have done admirably at keeping, and plan to continue. I have no control when I am unconscious, and trust a filthy soul sucking demon to take full advantage of that. So I wait.

A rattle of bones and metal alert me to some change in their movement. They have stopped outside my cell. The reason is unknown to me, and I am immediately suspicious to their intentions. Surely they would have told me if I were being Kissed? Surely my last meal wouldn't have been tasteless gruel? Surely I would have gotten a final owl or floo? Nevertheless emotions win over logic every time. I begin to feel the bubble of panic rising in my chest, threatening to spill out with every exhale.

The door creaks open forebodingly and I am left with no protection against the skeletal horrors. One sticks its emotionless, featureless head, through the doorway and beckons me silently. I rise on instinct, numb. I follow, but not closely for fear of being overwhelmed by the dementors emotional power. I am painfully aware of the dementor following behind me. We proceed down the frigid pitch dark hallway to a large wooden door. The dementor ahead of me slides a key into a thick metal padlock and pushes the door open. It beckons me into the room on the other side of the door.

The room is unsurprisingly empty. The fireplace flares to life, sputtering green flames at me. Admittedly I am startled. The voice in the fireplace is one I have never heard before, but it issues me instructions. I am to open the letter that sits on the window ledge and follow it's instructions. After barking orders and warnings at me for several minutes, the voice bid me goodbye.

The letter itself was the most shocking of all events of the day.

_Draconis Lucius Malfoy, _

_It has been five long years since the end of The Great War. We, the ministry, have at this time, decided to re-evaluate the actions of individuals convicted in the war. We hope to amend any mistakes we might have made in our hasty arrests and convictions. Considering your arrest status, and the fact that you were placed into Azkaban Detention Centre rather reluctantly by some parties, we have decided that your case will be the first to be reviewed. On this 27__th__ day of November you will be escorted to the Wizengamot courts. Please be prepared for a long arduous process, and be aware that this does not ensure your release. Best of luck. _

_Regards_

_Your Minister for Magic _

_Kingsley Shacklebot _

What. The. Bloody. Fuck.

What does this mean?

I'm being retried?

Does this mean I might finally get out of this hell hole? Does that mean you're going to be there? I'm going to get to see you one more time.

A clock on the wall screamed the time and a large man walked in the door. He gave me a once over and stalked over to the fireplace. He grabbed a large handful of floo powder and handed it to me. He shoved me roughly towards the open hearth. This was it. The day I have been waiting for, for over five years. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, yelling:

"Wizengamot Courts"


	5. November 27th: A Walking Contradiction

a/n: please understand if draco seems OOC its because he has been in Azkaban for 5 years and his mind is a little messed up… he will be more "fiery" later… do not fret my lovelies. I am so sorry for all these horrible cliffies but … I do enjoy writing them like this… keeps you interested (I hope at least) anyways… toodles

hearts, kt

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**Chapter 5: November 27th: Judgment **

**Harry **

Deep breaths Harry. In. Out. In. Out.

I have to remind myself to breathe as I stand in front of the mirror in Hermione and Ron's flat. I readjust my tie for the thousandth time, and dredge my fingers through my still unruly hair. A half a bottle of hair taming potion later, and my hair just looks more manageably ridiculous. I sigh in frustration and silently curse my genetics. No one is going to be able to take me seriously like this.

I catch my own smiling face out of the corner of my eye and I pull the old picture from graduation off the shelf to my right. Holding it up beside the mirror I can barely attach the two faces together. I looked so happy. Haunted by death and sadness, but somehow hopeful, and full of happiness. I was a walking contradiction not long after the war. I had lost so much, had so much to be sad about. But I also had so much to be thankful for, my friends, my family.

Now, my eyes look a little hollow, my face a little pale, my smile a little tight. I'm not the same man I was at 18. I've grown, acquired more sadness, I now carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. It's tough to accept, growing up.

Hermione calls me from the other room, telling me it's time to go. I pull my eyes away from my own face and check my pocket for my lucky charm. It might seem a little strange, or morbid to some I suppose, but I've taken to carrying a small sliver of Voldemort's wand with me wherever I go. It reminds me of the past, keeps me sane. Reminds me of the goodness it takes to overcome such evil, and that I am not to make judgments on others because it makes me no better than _him_.

I take one last deep breath and walk out of the spare bedroom and into the den. Hermione and Ron are waiting there for me. They see the look on my face, the haunted, conflicted look I know is there, and they gather me into a slightly awkward group hug. That's one thing that never changed. We always have been, and always will be here for each other.

Ron stepped back first and gave me a nod of reassurance before stepping through the floo. Hermione squeezed my hand one last time before following close behind him. I walked over to the hearth and grabbed a handful of the gritty floo powder. With one last touch of _his_ wand I threw the floo powder into the flames and yelled

"Wizengamot courts"

I felt the familiar feeling of being squeezed through a straw and I landed gracefully in the ministry hearth. That landing has taken me most of the last five years to accomplish, after coming in to the ministry everyday. This time however, was entirely different. I was here to attend the trial of my childhood enemy. The boy who had made my life a living hell and attempted to kill me on several occasions. I was more than a little nervous to see him again.

Hermione and Ron, sensing my hesitation, came up on either side of me and grabbed my hands reassuringly. We walked through the huge vaulted archway of the Wizengamot courts and into the hugely intimidating round stage area. We proceeded to the viewing area and sat close to the front, knowing we would be called on.

We waited in tense silence for a few moments while the council filed in slowly. I squirmed in anticipation in my seat as Kingsley called the court to order. As he called the accused in to the room, two hundred heads turned in unison to watch Malfoy hauled in.

I barely caught glimpses of him between huge gaurds as he was pulled in a strapped to the chair in the centre of the room. Strapped might not be the correct word. More like chained. As the large men backed away from the chair I was able to clearly see him for the first time.

His white blonde hair glinted dimly in the light, falling in greasy tendrils in front of his face. It was longer than it had been in school, likely a product of very infrequent haircuts rather than choice. It brushed his shoulders, which were clothed in ragged prisoner robes. He was thin. Painfully, sickly thin. His robes hung off him as if he were a coat hanger and I could see the sharp angles of his body protruding from the fabric. His face was drawn and blank, looking at the floor.

This was not the Malfoy I remembered, or knew. There was no fire, no pride. This was a broken man. A man who had forgotten who he was. As Kingsley paused for a moment to go over his files Malfoy looked up for the first time. His gaze seemed to hone directly into me like magnets. The fire in his eyes was the only real sign that I had that he was still alive. He stared at me for a moment as if trying to remember me, place me. Had it really been that long in Azkaban? Was he even sane anymore? Was it too late to save him?


	6. November 27th: Don't you Dare Pity Me

**a/n I know, I know, I know… this trial thing is just DRAGGING ON… I'm sorry! I PROMISE that the trial will progress next chapter (which I hope to have up at LATEST by tomorrow… possibly later tonight)… sorry lovelies… **

**toodles. **

**Kt**

**Chapter 6 – November 27: Memorizing **

**Harry **

I was immobilized by the weight of his stare. The way the silver of his eyes seemed to glow even with their dulled emotional state, the way his brow creased as he looked me over painstakingly. All his painful angles and barely repressed confusion and pain. Gods Malfoy. What did they do to you in there?

You look so _dead_ Malfoy. So lifeless, so broken. The way that you stare at me balefully through your greasy fringe stirs something in me. Likely my "hero complex" as you so aptly put it when I was the Hogwarts "Golden Boy" - gods I hated that name.

I can't believe that they managed to burn you out. Managed to extinguish your fire. If there was one thing you never lacked in it was passion and fire. And now its gone, all except for the tiny ember, the tiny spark that glows in the back of your eyes.

Something in me broke when I saw you walk in here this morning. I don't know why, but something, deep down, needs to protect you. To save you. That look on your face, knowing that somewhere along the line, I might have caused a little bit of that pain. How could I hate that look? How could I hate this shattered man?

If only you could hear me now Malfoy. You would be laughing, sneering, mocking me for all eternity. Calling me a sentimental, soft, _Gryffindor_. Your voice would have lilted on Gryffindor, spitting it at me as if it was the dirtiest word to ever occupy your mouth.

But now. Now, you're not that boy anymore Draco, like I'm not that boy who I was. Somewhere in these five years something changed. We both changed. We grew up.

And now, im going to follow my gut and find a way to protect you, to save you. I'm going to find a way to get you out of here. I swear it on my _Gryffindor_ pride.

**Draco**

The guard who had floo'd before me waited for me on the other side of the fireplace along with another man around his size. They grabbed me none to gently and hauled me into the courtroom. Judging by the rapid hush that fell on the crowd as I walked, staggered, was pushed into the court, I was the last to the party.

I didn't need to look up to know that you were here. I felt the weight of your presence the moment I tumbled out of the floo. I feel your eyes burning into me now as I am being chained to this filthy chair. The chains wrap as tightly as possible and then release just enough to not kill me. Magic. What a fickle being.

Kingsley drones on and on for a few moments and I don't bother acknowledging him. There is only one thing that matters to me in this courtroom. You. I look up at the exact moment Shacklebot stops speaking, by mere coincidence.

My eyes are drawn to you immediately of course. Your presence has been tugging at my mind unacknowledged for a few moments now. Finally acknowledged it nearly bowls me over with the intensity my emotions come rushing back. The love, the thinly veiled hatred and jealousy, the unadulterated _longing_. That's the worst. The tug I feel in my heart. The need to run and fling myself at you in hopes that you would hold me and soothe my fears and pain. It can never happen of course, but my heart can't help but dream.

You must think I'm psychopathic, staring at you like this. Rememorizing your face. Learning every new wrinkle and scar. Every mark I have never seen. Refreshing my memories of your beauty, the exact shade of your emerald eyes, the outline of your still unmanageable hair. The face I can draw from memory, the one that haunts my dreams.

Five years have been kind to you, with the widening of your jaw, chest, shoulders. The way you haven't grown any, but somehow seem taller, more threatening. You've grown up though too. Your eyes seem harder, more guarded. They lack the mischevious twinkle that I used to admire so much. The faint lines on your face show hard times of anguish and pain, which is understandable with all that you've lost. Somehow, under all the sadness, all the pain, you are still the beautiful man I once knew. There is still that familiar golden glow that surrounds you, still this aura of goodness.

Somehow your eyes are still on mine, as if you are trying to remember me like I am trying to remember you. Searching for what has changed, what has stayed the same. But there it is. The one thing I never wanted to see in your eyes. Pity. Don't you _dare_ look at me like that Potter. I am not to be pitied. But wait. Its not pity anymore is it Harry? There's something else there. Caring? Yes, caring. Along with fierce determination and steady resolve. That's the look I was waiting for. The one I know will save me.

Thank you.


	7. November 27th: A Pawn in His Game

**Chapter 7 – November 27****th****: A pawn in his game **

**Harry **

Kingsley droned on and on for what felt like days but in reality likely clocked in somewhere around four hours. His monotone voice was broken up in places by various witnesses and character references that he called up. At this point the entire courtroom which consisted of about two hundred and fifty people was shifting uncomfortably. It had little to do with the topic of discussion and lots to do with the fact that we had been sitting, motionless on hard benches for five and a half hours total. At this point people on the council looked anywhere from deathly bored, to mildly annoyed, to impressively engaged. Overall the courtroom seemed on the verge of falling asleep.

That is of course, until the minster paused for a breath in his rant before calling out:

"Harry Potter? Harry where are you m'boy?" he looked around until he caught my tentatively raised hand. "Ah, yes well, if you wouldn't mind coming up for the final testimonial of the proceedings…"

I didn't need to be asked twice. I was out of my seat before you could say Hippogriff and was down at the witness stand before I really had grasped the full reality of the fact that the one last thing that stood between Draco Malfoy and his freedom was me.

I was sworn in by the minister's assistant, and then I began to reach into my folder to pull out my reams and reams of parchment. I had taken extensive notes on events and instances that prove Malfoy's innocence and had every intention of sharing them with the council until –

"Harry, that will not be necessary"

"I'm sorry sir?"

"Your notes, they wont be necessary Harry."

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure I understand"

"Harry at this point, I believe the council has come to its decision about young Mr. Malfoy over here. I just merely wanted your opinion on something"

I stuttered and spun my wheels for a moment as I attempted to think of something to say. Sensing my hesitation Kingsley interjected.

"You see Harry, as an Auror trained specifically in security, and dark arts, I wanted your opinion on an idea I had."

"Um, yes of course sir, anything you would like."

"So theoretically, if Mr. Malfoy was released, do you personally believe he will be of any trouble to the wizarding world?"

"No sir."

"And do you believe the wizarding world will be of any trouble to Mr. Malfoy here?"

I had to hesitate before answering.

"That, I do not doubt sir."

"So theoretically Mr. Malfoy, being the first of the released convicted Death Eaters, will be facing a lot of public… issues… if not blatant harassment and danger, is this correct?"

"I believe so sir."

"So Harry, what would you suggest we do, to ensure his safe integration back into the wizarding world?"

"What would I personally suggest sir?"

"That is correct harry."

"I think it would be best if Draco were put under security detail at least for the first few months, for his own protection."

"Ah, I had this very same idea myself Harry. But are you not concerned about his guard turning on him, and becoming a threat?"

"Well sir, you will just have to find a trustworthy guard with sound morals."

"Hmm, yes, trustworthy, and possibly someone who knows Mr. Malfoy here?"

"Yes sir, I do believe that would be for the best"

"And this guardian… he should be well trained?"

"Of course sir, these are very real threats we are dealing with here."

"So you are suggesting that we assign him a successful Auror, whom he knows, who is trustworthy with sound morals?"

"That sounds about right sir."

"And do you know of anyone who fits these criteria Harry?"

I cringed inwardly, knowing exactly what he was getting at. It wasn't exactly that I was opposed to security detail for Malfoy; I just wasn't exactly sure how he would take the whole thing. And considering the circumstances I wouldn't be particularly pleased to handle a volatile Malfoy for the next few months.

"Sir, if you are suggesting that I would be a proper candidate for the job, I would be willing to accept the position."

Kingsley's face exploded into a wide smile.

"Excellent Harry, excellent. Thank you very much. That is all."

**Draco **

My head snapped up at that last part.

What was this about Harry _willingly_ accepting to look out for me for the next few months?

My heart soared on its own initiative before I had time to quell my emotions with logic. Harry was merely trying to satisfy his hero complex as well as his standing in the ministry. I was merely a pawn in his game. But I couldn't help but feel a little bit hopeful.

With that, the minister called a brief recess of the court.

Sorry about all these cliffies my lovelies.

-Kt


	8. November 27th: My Name is Filth

**a/n: sorry my lovelies, I couldn't work for the last few days cause my cousin from Vietnam was visiting and I had to spend time with her. But I'm back now ; ) so we should get back on track… toodles. **

**-Kt**

**Chapter 8 – November 27****th****: My Name is Filth **

**Draco **

The minister and his cabinet filed out of the room for their recess. No one else moved. No one even breathed. The tension in the room was stifling. Other than my fingers clenching and unclenching I didn't move an inch. I sat perfectly motionless trying to process everything I had heard.

It seemed that the overwhelming amount of the evidence and testimony seemed to point to my release. Character references explained how I was troubled and misunderstood, events were spun in a positive light, people defended me until they were blue in the face. It was a strange feeling to be accepted for once. It seemed that the majority of the wizarding world has forgiven my sins and is determined to purge me from Azkaban. But will it be enough?

The Wizengamot have a long, punishing memory, and they might not be as willing to forgive as the general public. They have seen my grandfather, my father and me before them. My name is filth to them, and that might be enough to land me back in Azkaban.

The fact that the savior of the wizarding world, everyone golden boy, has endorsed me, cannot hurt my case. But the question remains for me, will he be my savior as well as theirs? Will my dreams of him hold true, or will they be just fantasy?

And what happens once I get out?

Harry said he would take up my security detail, but how reluctantly was it? I cant read him the way I used to be able to. He's gotten old, harder. He used to be so naïve and innocent, but now he's a man. And I don't know this man Harry. What if I hate him?

What if this new situation tears my dreams apart, the dreams I worked so hard to keep out of my mind while I was in there. The ones I could never escape. I fell asleep and woke to him. It was him that kept me sane these five years. But I can never tell him that. He would run screaming from me.

But now, having him as my guard. Should I be ecstatic about this? Time alone with him, getting to know him – the real him, the new him. Learning how to be around him, letting him know me. Letting him in will be the biggest test. Can I make him love me?

Before that thought had run away with me, the council was filing back in to their seats. I could feel the tension in my body increase tenfold. I was sitting ramrod straight in my chair and I was frozen to my seat.

I chanced a tiny glance at Harry to reassure myself. He was still looking at me. He had this strange pensive look on his face. He didn't look necessarily disappointed in this turn of events, merely thoughtful. I had no idea what to make of it.

The minister cleared his throat and two hundred and fifty heads whipped around at breakneck speed to look at him. we all drew in a collective breath and waited. He smiled and let out a shaky breath:

"So, it seems as if we have come to a decision on young Mr. Malfoy here"

My heart stopped beating in my chest.

"Auror Potter can you please come stand in front of me?" 

My heart restarted. It beat nearly out of my chest in triple time.

"Gentlemen, would you kindly release Mr. Malfoy?"

The shackles around my wrists and ankles fell away. I shakily stood up.

"Closer Mr. Malfoy, I wont bite"

I shuffled forwards until I was directly in front of him. I shook where I was standing as I waited for his decision which would ultimately sign my release or my death warrant.

"Mr. Malfoy, the council has made its decisions…"

I couldn't breathe. My skin was on fire with the weight of all the eyes on me. My soul was on fire from being so close to him after all this time. My brain was so muddled I almost didn't hear the verdict.

I braced myself for the worst, clenching my fists.

I exhaled one last time.

Here goes nothing.

Here goes everything.


	9. November 27th: My Internal Monologue

**Chapter 9 - November 27****th****: My Internal Monologue**

**Harry **

When they called me back up to the bench after the recess, my heart nearly jumped straight out of my chest. This was a good thing right? This meant Draco was likely getting out. That is unless they were playing some cruel joke on him, and having me escort him right back to Azkaban after flaunting his freedom in his face. The Wizengamot wouldn't do that would they?

Before I can help it Hermione's voice enters my brain unbidden lecturing me extensively on the corrupt nature and cruel practices of the courts of the purebloods. A lecture I got somewhere around sixth year if I remember correctly. Funny how I don't even remember paying much attention to her in sixth year. I was too wrapped up in Malfoy and his conspiracies. Funny how nothing's changed. Cause here I am focusing on no one but him. I can't chase him out of my brain no matter what I do. He has a permanent stake somewhere, but I'm not entirely sure why.

Cue flash two of Hermione. It's almost as if she has fully taken over my internal monologue as well as my conscience.

"Strong emotion breeds strong bonds Harry. Hatred is one of the strongest emotions, along with lov-"

I cut my mental Hermione off before she can continue with that rant. I've heard enough from her for today. I need my full brain to fully understand what's going on right here in the courtroom.

I vaguely hear Kingsley calling Malfoy from his seat and it snaps me back to attention. Everything seems painfully sharp, and painfully slow. Colours are too vibrant, sounds too loud - my heart beating too fast.

I steal a final glance at Malfoy. He seems resolved to his fate. And resigned. Very resigned. As if he can feel within his bones, in his soul that the verdict isn't going his way. As if he can feel that he is going back to Azkaban.

And in that moment everything stops and I have a moment of painful clarity. I see everything I'm feeling showing transparently on his face. Emotions flicker rapidly before he can pull his composed mask back over his features. And it's in that moment that he seems so painfully human. So vulnerable. I can see the anger, anguish, fear, etched clear on to his haughty face. It's the fear that is most apparent. But there's something else there too. Hope. It's reluctant hope, and there isn't much of it, but I can see it there, plain as day.

Theres something else there as well, as his eyes flicker to me one last time, but I cant quite place it. I struggle with it for a moment before I realize. It's admiration. Admiration and respect. I pretend not to look at him while he pretends not to notice that I was looking.

I steel myself for what is about to happen. Three deep breaths and I stand made of solid iron. How is it that I got so emotionally invested in this?

I see Kingsley wipe his glasses on his shirt and adjust the papers in his hands before drawing in one final breath to speak.

Here we go.

**a/n : I know I know, I'm a horrendous human being. It's coming don't you fret. It will be up hopefully in a few hours. I just want to shout out to you all to thank you for reading and favouriting. And especially to everyone who has reviewed this story. It really brightens my day and makes me want to write more. So thanks my lovlies. **

**-Kt **


	10. Nov 27: Wizengamot's Sincere Apologies

**Chapter 10 – Wizengamot's Most Sincere Apology**

**a/n: Alright here it is. The verdict. I've teased you enough. I'm sorry. **

**-Kt **

**Draco**

"On the 27th day of this month of November, the Wizengamot courts issue their most sincere apology"

Kingsley paused for a moment, and I almost died. My vision started to swim.

This couldn't be happening! They couldn't be sending me back there!

"to young Mr. Malfoy, for wrongly imprisoning him five years ago. We would like to formally ensure your release from Azkaban."

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Today marks the first day of your newfound freedom Mr. Malfoy."

Kingsley took this opportunity to smile warmly at me. a strange feeling, having the minister of magic smiling down at you in the Wizengamot courts, especially since it didn't happen very often. At least not with our previous ministers. Maybe Kingsley was different. I liked him already. However that may have something largely in part to do with the fact that he has just handed me back my freedom after five years.

"Your entire estate that was seized and frozen by the ministry, will be returned to you within the month and you will be re-integrated into the wizarding society of England. For the time being, we have decided to place you under the protection of Mr. Potter, for your own safety, but we hope to have you living your own, normal life as soon as all threats have passed."

Kingsley continued to rant and outline the particulars of my release but for the moment my head was swimming with thoughts of freedom. And Harry. How could my thoughts not be swimming with him right now? I have just been entrusted to his care for an indeterminate period of time. I wonder how he feels about all this.

I carefully examined him out of the corner of my eye but I couldn't get a proper handle for how he was feeling. He seemed relieved almost.

"and so Mr. Malfoy, it is with this that we send you off with our best wishes to number 12 Grimmauld Place"

I'm free!

Wait.

What?

Grimmauld Place?

That's.

Oh shit.

**Harry **

Once Kingsley had confirmed Malfoy's release, I let out a huge shuddering breath. With an opening like that I had to restrain myself from hexing Kingsley on the spot. It sounded like he was sending Malfoy right on back to Azkaban.

I was more than relieved when they confirmed his release and explained to him about his estates and freedom. I was more than a little nervous about my part in this whole plan, and waited anxiously for Kingsley to get on with his damn speech.

"For the time being, we have decided to place you under the protection of Mr. Potter, for your own safety, but we hope to have you living your own, normal life as soon as all threats have passed."

Alright I had expected about this much. I had to work for – with? – Malfoy for an undisclosed period of time. Likely until I or Kingsley decides that the public has simmered down enough to not be a threat.

"Malfoy you will be asked for the time being to live in Mr. Potter's home, at least until your estates are back in order, and Mr. Potter and yourself have managed to establish the proper security measures."

Hold the phone. What? _Malfoy _living with _me_? Kingsley gave me an apologetic glace that seemed to say _"Sorry Harry, it was the only way they would agree"_ I suppose of all things that could have happened this was, not the worst. It just meant Malfoy and I would need to learn to not kill each other for a few days, weeks, months. Who knows how long it was going to be.

"Harry we are asking you to temporarily allow Draco asylum in your home was well as becoming his guardian. We are also asking you take leave from your usual Auror duties at least for the time being. We are paying you at your regular Auror rates plus overtime for your understanding and co-operation"

How on earth was Malfoy taking this whole deal? I examined him out of the corner of my eye. He seemed completely distant. In a far off world no doubt reveling in his freedom. He seems distinctly undisturbed about this whole ordeal.

Kingsley began to slow and finally wrapped up the proceedings

"And so Mr. Malfoy, it is with this that we send you off with our best wishes to number 12 Grimmauld Place"

And then the look of sheer panic I had been expecting began to show itself on Malfoy's face.


	11. November 27th: Snape in a Tutu

**A/n: **

**Hello my lovelies. I know this there is a lot of POV switching, and I hope none of you are going to kill me for that…*puppy dog eyes* I'm not leaving you hanging (as much) this time. I've been getting more reviews recently and it makes me super excited **** Thanks everyone. **

**Toodles **

**Kt**

**Chapter 11 – November 27****th**** : Snape in a Tutu **

**Draco**

Living. With. Harry?

I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry, squeal like a teenage girl or vomit. I had thought at most he was going to have to come check up on me every few days to make sure I wasn't dead.

This is horrible. Incredible?

Oh god. If I can't even figure out how to feel about this ordeal he must be dying. Or hating it already. Oh my god. My mental monologue started to hyperventilate. I'm living in his house. In a bedroom next to his. Just one wall separating me from his _bed_. Oh no no no. this was not good. Someone was going to have to chain me to the bed to keep me away from him. Hmm that's not such a terrible ide- NO! I will not think about Harry in bed. Snape in a tutu. Pink, frilly, prancing around. Oh god, I think I'm going to vomit.

Why does it always come back to that?

Ugh.

I shuddered, trying to dislodge any thoughts of the snarky old bastard in any frilly anything. Mother was right I do have too good of an imagination. Where was I again? Oh right. Living with Harry. Sleeping near harry. Harry in bed. DAMNIT NOT AGAIN!

I guess five years in Azkaban really does a number on your sex drive. I'm going to have to get this under control if I'm living in such close proximity to harry. As much as I would like to I don't think he's going to appreciate me randomly jumping him in his own house. I wonder - does he live alone or am I to be sharing his place with the entire Golden Trio?

That would be interesting, making me live with the angry Weasel and Granger, that insufferable know-it-all. But judging by the way they were eying each other up the last time I saw them, they've probably settled down together and had a hundred children. Those damn Weasley's reproducing like the world was ending, and it's their job to fix it.

Oh those Weasleys. Oh fuck no. The Weaslette.

Her and harry had a thing back in school didn't they? Oh fuck fuck fuck. There is no way I am living in a house with an _even angrier _Weasel, with the potential for tiny red headed hellions running amok.

This is going to be so much worse than I originally thought. Fuck.

**Harry **

I watched in morbid fascination as Malfoy's face turned from shock to a strange far away look to thoroughly disgusted, to fascinated and finally landing on terrified. I chuckled lowly at him trying to imagine exactly what it was that had him so worried.

"Knut for your thoughts Malfoy"

"Draco"

He replied absently, clearly still trying to process whatever it was that had him all up in arms.

"Okay then," I inhaled deeply "Knut for your thoughts _Draco_"

""

He mumbled quickly, clearly a little embarrassed about what he was saying.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, amused "Draco, this is England, that hasn't changed in the last five years. Can we try that again, in _English_ please?"

He shifted uncomfortably, a slight blush rising on his hollow cheeks.

"Uh, I was wondering if you, you know, live alone, because I don't want to be killed by an angry Weasel right now, considering how I just got free"

I felt my soul take a dive as I took in his question. Ginny.

"Yeah I live alone. She left me not too long ago. So I guess you're in luck."

"She? I was talking asking if the _golden trio_" he sneered as he said it "still lived together. Who did you mean? Oh… I wasn't aware that you two were…well then…"

Confusion rapidly turned to understanding as he trailed off. He tried to backpedal and was clearly feeling awkward about dredging up memories that were obviously still painful. We both avoided each other's eyes as we slowly came to the realization that we had both been standing in front of Kingsley's desk for a good while. The court was almost empty, save for where Ron and Hermione were waving to me I shook my head at them. There was no way in hell Malfoy – _Draco_ – was ready for that.

I motioned for him to follow me out of the court. It was a wonder he noticed at all, considering the effort he was putting in to not looking me in the eye. He feels bad. Weird. The Malfoy I knew would never have felt bad for that. He would have been ecstatic to have finally gotten to me.

We walked in silence out into the hallway. Malfoy followed slightly behind me, as if he was a little scared of what was laying in wait for him. not that he would ever admit to it. So I pretended not to notice he was using me as a shield. He grabbed my wrist and cocked an eyebrow questioningly at me as I proceeded to walk past the floos.

"We can floo if you want Malfoy" I said slowly, "but I was going to walk, I figured the fresh air would be nice after such a long time."

He stopped right where he was standing and gaped at me like a fish. He blinked his eyes slowly as he stared at me incredulously.

"It's not that far you know…" I trailed off.

"its not that." He gulped. "its just, th..tha…thank... you Harry."

Wow. An expression of gratitude from a Malfoy. Who woulda thunk it huh?

**Draco  
**

Holy bloody fuck.

Harry Potter being considerate and thoughtful towards _me_. As much as my heart has yearned for this moment as long as I can remember, I almost can't believe it's real. I guess this Harry has matured and isn't holding childish grudges. Well good on him.

I stood there gaping at him for a few moments trying to process this dramatic change of events. Then the cheeky bastard smiled at me. not his "I'm about to punch you in the face" smile, or his "I hung all your underwear from the astronomy tower" smile, but a real genuine Harry Potter smile.

It's a miracle my knees didn't give out beneath me. I swear my heart melted right there in my chest. And I thought he was beautiful before. Nothing, I mean _nothing _can compare to how beautiful he looks when he smiles. Holy shit. I'm going to have to get him to do that more often.

His smile somehow impossibly widened even further. A childlike excitement showed on his face as if he finally remembered something. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the floo. My confusion and disappointment must have shown on my face because his smile changed from excitement to reassuring. Don't worry Draco, just trust me ok?

Well hell, if you say my name like that and flash me those beautiful eyes I'll do pretty much anything you sexy, sexy man. WHOA. Ok enough of _that_ train of thought…

He grabbed me and pulled me into the floo with him. My nerves were jumping with excitement at being practically pinned to a wall by none other than Harry Potter. I almost didn't bother worrying –

"isn't this a little dangerous Harry?"

"didn't I ask you to trust me?"

Fuck if I thought his smile was sexy. A pouting Harry is even sexier. Those stunning eyes pleading with me through his thick lashes… SNAPE IN A TUTU DAMNIT! I really need to get a hold of myself here. This is getting ridiculous.

The floo flared to life. Huh. I guess I must have missed where we were going while I was thinking about Snape…. Ugh. I think I'm going to vomit.


	12. November 27th: Merlin in a Bikini

**A/n: Harry is starting to see it… won't be long now. I can't be sure if I will update tomorrow, cause I'm getting my wisdom teeth out, but I will see what I can do. Enjoy this chapter my lovelies. I do hope the chainsaw death threats begin to slow… toodles**.

**Chapter 12 – November 27****th****: Merlin in a Bikini**

**Draco **

I landed clumsily in some unknown fireplace. Clearly five years in that place, have left my floo skills lacking. Well, I suppose I'm going to have to get potter to take me out more until I can get back in tip top condition. Well if that didn't sound like a double entendre, I'm Merlin in a bikini.

Wow. I am not doing well for imagining old men in weird articles of clothing today. I really need to get that under control. Being around Harry must have me more frazzled than I thought.

When I finally manage to gather my wits about me I realize that I know exactly where we are. Flourish and Blotts. I would recognize that old musty book smell anywhere, and mixed with the peculiar smell of incense and vanilla candles I couldn't possibly be anywhere else. Being back on Diagon Alley brought back a whole onslaught of memories, some pleasant, others well – not. I met Harry for the first time just down at Madame Malkin's, even then I was entirely in awe of him. How such a tiny shrimp of a wizard could vanquish the Dark Lord - even temporarily. But also nagging on the edge of my consciousness is the proximity of Knockturn Alley, and it's less than pleasant connotations. All the work that_ He_ had me do with the vanishing cabinets, the fiendfyre.

I almost collapsed under the weight of that particular memory, all the smoke and bright, blinding light. I had thought for sure that I was a goner before Harry had swooped in and inexplicably saved me. A familiar gurgle of fear rises in my gut and I can feel my lungs struggling to dredge in enough oxygen, fighting against the imaginary smog. Before I can descend further into my memory jail, Harry grabs me by both my arms, staring deeply into my eyes, he shouts frantically at me, trying to grab my attention. His words finally start to filter through my consciousness.

"Draco? Draco? DRACO! Listen to me!" his voice started to rise in a panic. "Draco? Are you even in there?"

"Calm down Potter, you're worrying the customers" I croaked out.

"What the hell is going on? Are you alright?"

He carefully examined me for any physical injuries before his eyes rejoined mine. He searched my face for cause of distress. All the while I stood silently under his appraisal.

"Draco. Can you please tell me what's going on?"

I hesitated briefly. I know he sensed my internal wince because his hands tightened almost imperceptibly on my shoulders.

"I'm terribly sorry _Harry_ but I was merely overcome by a particularly – difficult – memory"

A combination of my sneer and signature Malfoy mask told Harry to leave it. He patted my back reassuringly before letting go. He glanced at me for a moment as if sizing me up before he turned to go talk to the woman standing behind the counter. He stalked quickly over to her and exchanged a brief set of instructions. She nodded, slightly unsure, but disappeared into the back anyways.

He turned his back to the counter and leaned casually on it. We both pretended not to be looking at each other but neither of us was fooled. He was watching me for signs of going into shock and I was just watching him. Eyeing him hungrily, mentally making notes of every single change in his persona, from his gait to the way he carried himself. I filed each note away carefully, doing my absolute best to memorize this new Harry.

The woman returned from the back room of the shop with a small stack of books – or more accurately, magazines. Harry quickly thanked her, handed her some money and made his way back towards me. This new Harry walked much more confidently than the one of my day. The old Harry needed his loyal followers supporting his every move but this one, walked with his head held high, sure of every move he made. He stopped a few paces away from me and waited for a few moments, suddenly unsure of himself. I was beginning to get impatient. Where was the man I had seen walk over to me?

"Alright Potter, spit it out, what do you have that made you so excited before?"

He smiled sheepishly before handing me the magazine on the top of the stack.

A Quibbler issue?

I glanced at him questioningly but he gestured for me to keep reading. _Quibbler Year in Review._ The date on it was from the year I was arrested and when I glanced in his hands he held four more, no doubt from the years I was in prison. I was rendered completely speechless by his gesture.

"Now before you say anything, I know the Quibbler seems a little bit strange, but the Year in Review issue is always really well put together and contains all the high and lowlights of the year. I understand if you don't want to read them but I thought it might be a nice way for you to get reacquainted to the Wizarding Wor-"

I cut him off before he could get any deeper into his mumbling rant.

"Thank you Harry, this is, very thoughtful. I appreciate it, I really do"

He smiled at me again. Two in one day, so far I'm doing great. It seemed we both had similar trains of thought.

"Two thank yous from a Malfoy in one day? That's got to be some kind of record"

"Shut up Potter, or you won't be getting any more"

**Harry **

I smiled a genuine smile at him for the third time today. It seems this Malfoy might be a little easier to get along with than the one from Hogwarts. I offered to shrink his issues of The Quibbler to put in my robe, because I knew that he hadn't got full control of his magic back yet. Five years in Azkaban would do that to you. It's a miracle he's still sane, let alone capable of magic. I could tell he was a little embarrassed about needing my help but I just reassured him that it wouldn't be long until his magic was back up and running.

I asserted myself in front of him as I led us out of Flourish and Blotts. I put on my best "Auror on Business" face to keep the questions, interference and distraction to a minimum. As I drew nearer to the doorway I noticed with slight dismay that it was pouring rain. That's England for you. I turned to glance apologetically at Draco and offer to apparate him home, but he had rushed by me and out into the rain before I had a chance to say anything.

I stepped out under the overhang of Flourish and Blotts, attempting to stay dry at least for a few minutes. It wasn't hard to find Draco as he was the only one crazy enough to be out on the streets in this weather. He was standing in the middle of the street, arms spread, looking up at the sky. His eyes were closed and he was just enjoying the feeling of rain on his skin. He slowly started to turn in a circle, getting thoroughly soaked in the process. He laughed jubilantly. The look of laughter on his face was indescribable. I was breathless for a moment just watching him in the rain, how something we all seemed to dread brought his so much happiness.

My internal Hermione managed to make herself heard after a few moments of admiring draco in the rain. She lectured me extensively on how draco was going to get a cold from being out in the rain. I didn't want to disturb his peace, but I had to agree with her. He was thin as a rail and his prisoners robes clung to him like a second skin. He was a glorified skeleton, a beautiful skeleton, but a skeleton nonetheless. Did I just say beautiful?

_**No time for that now**_ Hermione lectured me._** Get that boy home, changed and dry before he catches his death. Or Kingsley and I will make sure you catch yours**_**. **

I sighed deeply and pulled an umbrella out of my robes. I opened it up and walked to where he was standing. He opened his eyes when he realized that he couldn't feel the rain on him anymore. And all of a sudden there he was looking straight up into my eyes. We both looked away. I fidgeted awkwardly, suddenly unsure of what to say.

"We should probably get you home." I probed.

"Not yet" he responded, his eyes flaring like a petulant child.

I tried again, this time gentler.

"Draco, you're shivering. Please?"

He looked at me with something akin to wonder in his eyes before he gulped heavily and grabbed on to my arm. He clung to me like his robes clung to him, and I could barely get the thought of his face while he laughed out of my head to get us safely home.


	13. November 27th: Lining Down the Block

**a/n: sorry its been a few days. Here is a little bit of strange interaction between the two, and Harry beginning to notice his feelings…As well as some lovely awks tension. I hope you enjoy. For the record, harry is not crazy, the voices are just his internal monologue dredging up what he thinks Ron and Hermione would say, not some weird split personality or anything… toodles**

**Chapter 13: Lining Down the Block**

**Draco**

I held on to Harry's arm a moment longer than strictly necessary, and strangely enough he didn't seem to mind. Or notice. Probably notice. My body was still wracked with spasms. I shuddered violently beneath my soaked robes. I managed to force his name out from behind my chattering teeth. His head whipped around in shock and his eyes widened as he took me in. The look of worry on his face was unmistakable.

I fidgeted awkwardly for a moment, unsure of how to voice my next request.

"Potter, don't freak out" I stuttered slowly through the cold that seemed to solidify on my skin "but, Azkaban robes are specially enchanted so we can't, you know, hide anything…" I trailed off with a blush before continuing "so there are wards in their showers and everything that can control the robes but, I personally can't take off my own robe. It's spelled on, for _security_ reasons"

Outrage dawned on his face, presumably to do with the indignity of not being able to take off your own robe. It was followed slowly by horrified realization and then embarrassment, which I assume had much to do with the fact that he had just realized the inevitable.

"So_ I_ have to spell you out of your robes?" he gulped audibly.

"Don't look so disappointed Potter, there are blokes who would be lining down the block for this opportunity. Now can you just get it over with before I die of hypothermia?"

I dictated the incantation to him and he carefully repeated it a few times until he had it perfect. I was not letting him anywhere NEAR my body with a wand unless he had his spell casting flawless. After a few tries, he had the pronunciation and wand movement correct and he looked at me expectantly. I inclined my head towards him, suggesting he hurry up before I find a way to hex him or punch him in the face, depending on how co-operative my magic is being.

He intoned the spell perfectly and I was left standing in his living room in only my shabby, ministry issued boxers. He smirked at me.

"I assume you can get those off no problem?"

"Oh ha ha Potter aren't you just so clever?"

His eyes sparkled with amusement for a moment before he realized that he had a half naked Malfoy in his drawing room. He coloured briefly and then rushed up the stairs calling out:

"Wait right there Malfoy"

I grumbled at him under my breath

"Oh really Potter? I wanted to wander your house naked. Maybe run into my great grandfather's portrait, that would just make my day."

I sat down on the couch closest to the fire with a huff. This was going to be an interesting day, week, month.

**Harry **

I tried to silence my brain as I bounded up the stairs to my bedroom. My Hermione conscience was completely outraged by the thought of not allowing prisoners to remove their own robes, while my Ron conscience was arguing with her that the slimy git deserved it. Clearly I need a little bit of time away from those two, my brain is starting to morph into them, and true enough to life they always seem to be arguing over something.

I reached my bedroom door and wrenched it open. I scrambled over to my dresser and started wrenching out clothes. Something to put Malfoy in and quick. I don't know how much longer I can take a half clothed Draco.

Jeans? _**A Malfoy would never wear jeans**_ Ron scoffed

Workout shorts? _**Did you see the way he was shivering?**_ Hermione admonished.

Pajamas and a sweater? Hermione was approvingly silent and Ron huffed indignantly.

I guess were going with that then. Crisis averted I wandered back down the stairs at a much more human pace. I rounded the corner into the living room and saw Draco curled up next to the fire, with an old throw blanket wrapped around him. Mrs. Weasley would be pleased that her hard work knitting me that blanket finally did some good.

Draco seemed to be in a whole different world, gazing deeply into the fire. But then something changed, and that look that came over him in the bookstore was back. Pure, unadulterated fear. Before I knew it was by his side pulling him to his feet and away from the fire. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and held him arms length from my body, not wanting to scare him.

A violent sob ripped its way out of his mouth and I couldn't restrain my instincts any further. I sank into the couch beside where we were standing and pulled his shaking skeletal frame into my lap. He shook and cried as I held him tight on the couch. I passed my hands over his back in mindless circles, hoping to soothe him. He eventually calmed long enough to realize where he was. He froze in shock and then attempted to squirm away from me. I gently placed him on the couch beside me and then got up to grab the clothes I had dropped in my haste to comfort him. He took them silently, gazing up at me, with a thoughtful, confused look on his face. It seemed we were both struggling with that emotion recently.

He reluctantly shrugged off the blanket, and shivered violently when the air hit his exposed skin. He glared at me pointedly for a second, so I averted my eyes, embarrassed. A few seconds later he cleared his throat and I looked back at him. he was swimming in the clothes I had given him, practically drowning. But they looked good on him still somehow. Right. As if he belonged in my muggle clothes, wrapped in Mrs. Weasleys blanket, in my living room.


	14. December 4: Starting to Feel Routine

**Chapter 14 - December 4: Starting to Feel Routine**

**Draco **

I was about a week into living with Harry when my life started to feel routine. It started out a morning like the 6 or so before. I rolled out of bed around ten o'clock, because neither of us had better things to do, and stumbled my way down to the kitchen. Harry had managed to find my one weakness, and used it mercilessly to get me out of bed. Coffee. I entered the kitchen like the undead every morning and came out of it my usual, peppy, sunshine-y self. Ha. Not even coffee is that good.

Entering the kitchen I was greeted with the customary:

"Good morning Draco."

To which I responded with my best prehistoric grunt.

"gnrrr mrnng pttr"

I slid into "my" chair and my coffee was placed in front of me. I just reveled in the smell of it for a few minutes before starting to gulp down the scalding liquid. Ah. Just what I needed. Just as I was starting to feel a little more human Harry plunks down our fight starter of the day. My breakfast.

I know Harry broke up with the Weaslette, but clearly not fast enough. Her Weasley-wife ways had rubbed off on him to an alarming degree. He cooked enough for the entire great hall and wouldn't rest until I had eaten what would have fed the entire Slytherin house. To top it all off, I am not, and will never be a breakfast person. I am a strong cup of coffee person. Harry was having none of that.

Not particularly in the mood to fight him this morning, I dug reluctantly into the enormous stack of pancakes and bacon he had stacked on to my plate. The only redeeming fact about Harry's breakfast crusade is that, well that man can _cook_. I commend Molly Weasley or his muggles for teaching him that anyways.

Harry, who had by this point decided I had enough food to work on for now, sat down across the table from me. Apparently he was not a breakfast person either because I never saw him eat more than a little toast with his tea and Daily Prophet. According to him, he wasn't vastly underweight so he could eat however little he wanted. I did not have this luxury.

Harry cleared his throat and lowered his newspaper. He examined me for a moment, and stared pointedly at my breakfast until I resumed eating.

"So, I was thinking, it might be time to get you some proper robes and clothes. I'm sure you're sick of wearing my things, and I think the public has settled enough for a short trip to Diagon, what do you think?"

I choked around a rather large piece of pancake.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course. You didn't expect me to make you wear my hand-me downs for the entire time you were living with me did you? They hardly fit you."

I chuckled. He did have a point. He had good amount of weight and height on me. He must have been at least 6 inches taller and significantly broader and more muscular. I was drowning in his clothes. But there was a little part of me that didn't want to give up wearing his clothes. That little part was ecstatic about sleeping surrounded by Harry's smell, felt connected to him. It felt claimed when I wore his sweaters. I might try and keep one of those without him noticing. Oooh, and some of his pajamas. Those are my favorite.

**Harry **

I was slightly concerned about taking Draco out in public for the first time since the trial date, but I was confident that I could keep him safe. I figured a short shopping trip wouldn't hurt anyone. As much as I liked seeing him in my clothes, I knew his Malfoy pride was probably hurting. I would have loved to have him wearing my Auror training sweater for the rest of his life, with the name Potter emblazoned across his back. But I promised to take care of him, and to me that means mentally, emotionally and physically. I am not just his security detail. I'm almost a friend now.

We hit all the usual stops on Diagon, the best of the best for Draco of course. He needed all the best tailored robes, from the best stores. I couldn't even bring myself to roll my eyes at his antics. He did deserve nice things. Especially after Azkaban, where he had nothing. I don't blame him at all.

After we had exhausted our options in Diagon, Draco surprised me. He asked me if we could go to Muggle London. He pulled his puppy dog eyes when I said that I wasn't sure and the sentimental softie in me gave up and let him go. The first thing he did was buy some high end muggle clothes, for all occasions. He said he needed to be prepared for his journey back into the Wizarding World. I couldn't help but watch with amusement. Watching the happiness that radiated from him as he tried on clothes, reminded me of something. I picked up my muggle cell phone and called a very important someone.

Draco, finally done for the day, came over to me with the biggest smile on his face.

"Thank you Harry. Really. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet Draco" I grinned. "I have a surprise for you."

He looked at me with panic in his eyes.

"Don't worry." I pouted slightly at him. "Don't you trust me?"

"Strangely, I do, but I really don't know if I should"

**Draco **

Harry placed his hands over my eyes and I couldn't stop my heart from accelerating a little. After this amazing day, to have another surprise? I couldn't even begin to fathom what he might have cooked up. He led me up a small set of stairs and into a large mostly empty room. I could hear our footsteps echoing hollowly.

"Seamus?" I heard him call.

The Irish twit? What were we going to see him for I wonder?

"Harry! How's my favorite wizard in the whole world?"

"Oh shut it Shay" he laughed. "You remember Draco right?"

Seamus's voice darkened almost imperceptibly. He seemed to be trying to stay civil.

"How could I forget him?"

Harry finally took his hands off my eyes and I looked around. I seemed to be in a muggle warehouse of some kind. There were mirrors and chairs all around and strange electrical devices but I had no idea why we were here.

"Harry, I don't mean to be rude but, why are we here?" I asked tentatively.

His face brightened.

"Well Draco, I know that you put a lot of pride into how you look, and today was just a reminder of that" he paused for breath, "don't look at me like that, that's not how I meant it at all." He reassured me gently, "What I meant was, that maybe I could do something nice for you"

"And that would be…"

He sighed impatiently.

"Draco! We're getting your hair cut!"


	15. December 4: Mark Magic

Chapter 15 – December 4: Mark Magic

Harry

Coming home from our Diagon trip Draco was practically glowing. He wanted to shower and put on some of his very own clean clothes for the first time in over five years. His excitement was completely catching. Thinking I could surprise him again, I started dinner, and then grabbed a hold of all his bags. The amount of things that he bought was colossal, from hair products to undergarments to dress robes. I managed to carry and levitate all of his things to his room. 

I figured I had a little time before he came back from his shower and I thought I would surprise him by enlarging his closet and putting all of his things away for him. I had his closet and drawers magically resized and was in the process of organizing his various hair products on his vanity when he surprised me by walking through the door.

"Potter?"

I must have jumped three feet into the air, I had not heard him coming at all. Either my Auror skills are lacking or he has never grown out of the ability to be very sneaky. I'm going with the second one.

"what the hell are you doing in here?"

I turned around averting my eyes, the blush on my face burning up my skin. I stuttered for a response under his scrutiny.

"I was trying to put all your things away for you. I was trying to be nice"

he shifted from foot to foot, readjusting his towel. He seemed frustrated but I wouldn't meet his eyes, because I thought he might be angry.

"Damn it potter will you just look at me?"

I did. And as my eyes were scanning up his body I noticed something. Or rather, I didn't notice something.

"where's your dark mark?" I blurted out before I could really process what I was saying.

Upon horrified realization of what I just said I clapped both hands over my mouth. I proceeded to try to backpedal to the best of my abilities.

"oh my god, I didn't mean, I mean I'm sorry, you don't have to, oh my god, sorry, shit, what, Merlin"

"Potter" he seemed amused. "Shut up, dear Merlin, shut up before your brain explodes"

I stood in front of him chastised like a little child. I looked at him apologetically.

"Meet me in the living room in ten minutes potter, and I'll tell you."

**Draco**

I knew this was going to come up eventually, but I had hoped I would have had at least a little more time to really think about what I wanted to say. But knowing nosy, nosy Harry, things never really turn out as planned.

I pulled on some clothes, not really noticing, or caring what clothes and made my way down to the living room. Here we go.

He waited patiently on the couch furthest from the fire. Ah. So apparently he has noticed that particular trait. Very nice Potter. I settled on the couch, far enough away from him that I was not in his personal bubble, but close enough that I didn't have to yell to tell my story. This was going to make for an interesting conversation.

"Now potter. I have a lot to say, so I would prefer if you were just quiet, and let me talk. When I'm finished, you are welcome to say, whatever it is that you want. Alright?"

He sighed resignedly "Deal."

"I don't know how much you know about mark magic Harry. But essentially there are a few types of marks. There are marks that are accidental like some bonding marks, and others that are very intentional, similar to an unbreakable vow. Additionally there are some marks that can be given forcefully and others that must have consent. Usually marks such as the dark mark must be taken consensually, but since Voldemort is so powerful, he has _some_ ability to mark forcibly. The issue with this is that the forced marks aren't as strong. This doesn't mean however that these marks will remain weak. Oftentimes a mark that begins as a force mark turns into a consensual mark, and then it contains all the power of a consensual mark. The consensual mark is much more powerful because it allows a wizard to sense, command and communicate with those he or she has marked. This is how Voldemort was able to call on all the death eaters and command them to come to him."

I paused in my story for a moment to let the information sink in.

"Ever since I was a young boy I never understood Voldemort. I saw him for the crazy, hypocritical old man that he was. I never intended to join him. Any time I said I wanted to, was to maintain my image or protect my family. Fortunately, Voldemort didn't know this. Eventually, since I was in such close contacts with his ranks I was forced to take the mark. Since in my case it was a force mark, and not a consensual mark, it didn't hold the same power over me. As I rebelled against it and to the day of his death did not accept him as my master, my mark never became consensual. So when he died, my mark, along with everyone else he force-marked, were free. Our dark marks faded, because they didn't have the same power. So I don't have a mark anymore, because Voldemort was never my true master. He holds no power over me."

I sighed. Utterly spent.

"Holy shit" harry breathed. "That's a lot to take in at once."

I sighed.

"Yeah, tell me about it."


	16. December 4: Constant Facts

**December 4 - Chapter 16: Constant Facts **

**Harry**

My mind was still reeling when Draco decided he was tired, so I sat up by myself for a while just thinking. I nursed a mug of cocoa, and as I slowly sipped on the rich sweetness I came to an alarming realization. I had been wrong. All of these years I had been wrong.

Every single time I snuck after him, dodging Filtch and Snape, every time I followed him, whisper quiet under my cloak, every time I dodged a class to see what he was up to, I had been wrong. Every suspicious stare, every hasty fight between classes, healed bruises and muttered insults, had been a lie. Every time I had called him a Death Eater, cycled through my head, taunting me with the knowledge that I had misjudged someone, so immensely.

How was it that this one moment, has made me question every single thing I ever thought I knew? Did Dumbledore know all these years about the Dursleys? Probably. Were the Slytherins all as evil and corrupt as we had originally thought? Probably not. Was Voldemort even evil? Hah. Of course he was. Nothing can change that fact. My parents are still dead, Voldemort is still an evil, conniving murderer and Ron and Hermione are still bickering, albeit now they find different ways of making up for it. My world revolves around these constant facts. But one of my orbital constants, that Draco Malfoy is a right git, and 100% pure evil, is a lie. So where does that leave me exactly?

Rightly confused I'm sure, but also feeling oddly guilty. This man who is living in my house, I barely know. This Draco, is a stranger to me. He has done nothing but be cordial and polite and funny and dare I say genuine. He has told me things I would never have imagined knowing, or wanting to know about someone. He has placed every single piece of his difficult to earn trust in my less than capable hands, effectively letting me hold his life in his hands.

This is not the boy I knew. Nothing close to the boy that I knew. The boy I knew was cold, manipulative, guarded, rude and conceited - most of all conceited. I knew every single thing there was to know about him. Middle name: Lucius, after his arrogant father. Favorite color: Navy Blue, most would have said Slytherin Green, but I knew that wasn't true. Favorite Subject: A close tie between Arithmancy and Potions, he liked things that followed distinct patterns and rules, liked the control. Favorite food: anything sweet, except treacle tart. I could have told you, at any point during the day, where he was, within a fair margin of error. I knew his schedule, habits, and nervous ticks. I knew everything there was to know about Malfoy.

But this isn't _Malfoy_, this is _Draco_, its almost as if he's a new person. A person I don't quite know the ins and outs of yet. I'm learning, but it's going to take me a little longer. I know a few things though, that I've managed to glean over the last while. Favorite color: yellow, it's a happy color, nothing close to Azkaban. Favorite food: although he still loves his sweets, his favorite is fresh fruit, any fresh fruit, because I think he must have missed it in there. He likes to read, he consumes enough caffeine to kill a small rhinoceros, he hates being close to fire – unless I'm with him, he gets cold easily, and he absolutely _**hates**_ it, when I make him eat breakfast.

I suppose I owe him a bit of an apology. I should tell him that I'm sorry about all the times in school, when I called him all those things, all the things I said about his family, the silly prejudices we held against each other all those years. And maybe even for not taking his hand in first year. It's not that I regret the life that I had, merely that I'm curious what might have happened if I had. Where would I be now? Would we have been friends? Would he have ended up in Azkaban? Would the Dark Lord have been defeated?

I was startled out of my reverie by an anguished scream. My heart started beating out of my chest as I hastily cast spells to check the states of the wards. They sensed that there had been no disturbance, but I wasn't assured yet. A powerful enough wizard could have gotten in undetected. With my wand gripped tight out in front of me I prowled quickly around the bottom floor of the house, eyes open for an intruder. Seeing nothing I sprinted towards the stairs.

I heard another scream, this one sounding thicker, more choked, and I rushed towards to sound of it. As I reached the second floor I started to hear panicked whimpering, interspersed with heavy, terrified breathing. I rushed to Draco's door and eased it open, not wanting to startle the attacker.

Draco was twined in the sheets, a cold sweat broken out all across his face and bare chest. He writhed in agony on the bed, hands tearing at the sheets. Another pained scream wrenched its way out of his body. Tears were streaming down from his closed eyes. He rolled onto his side protectively and screamed as he collapsed in on himself. He lay shaking in the fetal position, whimpering and crying.

Before I knew that I was moving I was crossing the room to him. Instinctively I crawled into the bed with him and held him securely to me. Try as I might he wouldn't wake up. I brushed his sweaty hair away from his face and held him helplessly as he shook. After what seemed like hours, but was likely around 10 or 15 minutes his shaking started to slow. The occasional whimper still escaped from his mouth but his tears had mostly subsided.

"Draco? Wake up. It's ok. Please wake up. I need you to wake up."

I hadn't known that I was crying until I heard the emotion thick in my voice. I touched my face to see it drenched with tears. My voice broke somewhere in the middle of trying to wake him up.

"Harry?"

I heard him whisper, in a voice hoarse from crying. I held him tighter to me, where I could protect him, his back flush against my chest.

"Shh, baby, its going to be ok, nothing can hurt you now, I've got you, you're safe. Just shhh."

He calmed in my embrace, and we just lay there for a few moments, safe.

He twisted around in my arms until he was facing me. I loosened my hold on him and he slid far enough away to talk to me. He raised his hands to my face and gently wiped the tear tracks away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" my voice came out broken even to me.

He gave me a sad smile.

"Harry, we both know that you are in no condition to talk about this. Look at you, you're a wreck"

A small smirk found its way to his face. He snuggled down until his head was cradled on my chest and my arms were wrapped around him. I could feel him drifting away.

"Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you gonna let me up?"

He snorted, and then mumbled;

"Go to sleep Potter"

"Ok"


	17. December 5: The next Morning

**Chapter 17**

**Draco **

I woke up for the first time in five years well rested. I was actually warm for a change, my blankets had stayed on, my pillow hadn't shifted during my sleep. To say the least I was happy. I just lay there for a minute with my eyes closed just feeling happy. A feeling that was nice to finally have back after all the time I spent in Azkaban. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

That's funny. I could have sworn potter would have been up already, making me coffee. But I don't smell coffee. All I smell is – POTTER. My eyes flew open as last night came rushing back to me. Bloody fuck. I am curled up on none other than Harry Potters chest. This is not good. This is so good, but NOT GOOD. My hormones are currently at war with my common sense and it is not a feeling that I like. The logical part of my brain has decided that this is going to make for an awkward conversation over breakfast and I should hightail it out of bed as soon as possible, before he realizes what's going on. My hormones are quick to point out, that he is in _my _bed and even he isn't thick enough to not connect those dots, and what is the problem with laying in bed with the man I've been in love with since I was eleven for a few minutes longer? My logical grudgingly agreed, silently ecstatic to be this close to Harry after all these years.

Harry started to stir under my head, showing signs of being on the verge of consciousness. He sighed something that sounded suspiciously close to my name and my heart nearly jumped through my throat. I heard him issue a big yawn and felt him draw in a large breath when he realized exactly where he was.

I pretended to keep sleeping, to see what it was exactly that he would do. He slowly slid into a sitting position, keeping his arm securely around me, until he was sitting up and my head was cradled in his lap with his arm draped over me. He awkwardly reached for his book on the bedside table and then, after not having much luck, wandlessly summoned it. He proceeded to read while absentmindedly stroking my hair. I was so happy my heart almost exploded and I swear, had I been a cat, you would have been able to hear me purring in America.

After about twenty minutes I started to "stir" I slowly stretched and "came to" hoping not to alert Harry of my previous consciousness. I pretended to start briefly as I realized exactly the situation I was in, and I heard him chuckle deeply.

"Rough night Malfoy?"

"On the contrary, I slept quite well."

"No more nightmares?"

"Not after you came in, no"

"You have those often?"

"Every few weeks, yeah"

"Want to tell me what they're about? Maybe I can help"

I laughed humorlessly

"I doubt that you can help, but I will tell you." I sighed "they're different almost every time. Some of them real, some of them not. A lot of times they're just me remembering something I saw, people _he_ tortured or killed. But sometimes he's taunting _me_ or torturing_ me_ in my dreams. But last night, I had one of the only ones that ever reoccur. It's the worst one."

"And which one is that?" he pressed gently.

"I'll give you a guess. Here's a hint. Not only have you noticed, but you were there"

He sighed, and tightened his arm around me.

"The fiendfyre"

The malice and anger in his voice was apparent, even without seeing his face.

"Yeah. The fiendfyre"

We stayed there in silence for a few moments, him absently stroking my hair, me silently processing last night, and this morning. But then I remembered something;

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night, did you call me baby?"

"What?" I could hear an edge of panic fill his voice.

"You said Shh, Baby it's alright"

"No I didn't" he denied the claim fully, but I could feel his chest heating up, and his heart beating faster.

"Actually Harry, you did." You could practically hear the smirk in my voice.

"Weird. Must have slipped out. Sorry"

I grunted quietly

"No problem."

We were silent for a few more minutes.

"Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you wearing my pajamas?"

I blushed furiously.

"I'm not?"

"Right so you were on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Number 4? Last name Potter?"

I could feel my face flaring.

"Shut up – _baby_"


	18. December 5: Obsessed like Us

a/n: I know I'm a terrible human being. I've been terrible these last few days about writing, I really should have chapters written ahead of time, but I find when I write them I get too excited to wait and post them early… I will try to get better at maintaining my one a day posting (because that's my goal.) toodles.

**Chapter 18 – December 5: Obsessed like us**

**Harry **

My head was still spinning when I entered the kitchen for breakfast. No matter what way I looked at the events from the last few days, they just didn't seem to make sense. All my life I hated Malfoy and all that he stood. The fact that the man living in my house was practically a stranger when he moved in didn't help my confusion. My heart was telling me to hate him still, filled with memories and anger, unfulfilled grudges, but my head was trying to rationalize that this was a completely different person. I was, and still am at war with my self over Draco. 

He is, and always has been, the one person who could always, get under my skin. No matter what the situation was he was the person who could always garner a reaction. Mind you sometimes it was not a good reaction. Oftentimes it wasn't a good reaction. Oftentimes I just wanted to punch him in his arrogant little face. But there was always so much passion in our fights. I have never, to this day, met a pair who can fight like us. Who were obsessed like us.

We stalked each other around that castle for years, always suspicious, always watching. We lurked down hallways waiting to catch a glimpse, waiting to find something to hold over the other's head. We waited in alcoves to emerge at the perfect time, with the perfect line, to make the other lose control. We had each other so figured out. At any point in time we knew where each other was. It was almost as if we had developed a sense for each other, knew each other so well, that we were somehow inexplicably linked.

And now this. This strange man living in my house, tip-toeing around me - trying not to set me off like only he can. I don't know if I'm waiting for a blow-up, if I'm lingering in the calm before the storm, or if this new Malfoy, Draco, is just more peaceful.

And the events of the last few days, the ineffable instinctual feelings I get when I'm around him. It's like I can't control myself, and I don't know what's going on. I've caught myself on more than one occasion looking at him and admiring his strange, proud yet vulnerable beauty. And I don't know what it means. These aren't things I should notice. I shouldn't want to pull him into my arms and just hold him until everything is ok again, to shelter him from every bad thing in the world, keep him safe. But I do. More than anything I do. And it's scaring the shit out of me. Why do I want to rescue him, hold him, _keep_ him.

I need to talk to Hermione.

I stood up hastily from the table, almost knocking over my coffee. I briefly met Draco's startled eyes, just now noticing a few important things. Firstly, he was eating breakfast, which for the first time in weeks; I hadn't had to force on him. He was finally getting into the swing of eating proper amounts of food at proper intervals. I suppose that means I don't have to worry as much about him being skeletal, because it's sure to change soon. Secondly, I realized, with a pang of guilt, that I had just sat across the table from him for a half hour without speaking to him, or even looking at him. I had been too lost in thought to even acknowledge his presence.

I cleared my throat, for the first time in five years, feeling slightly awkward in the presence of Draco Malfoy.

"Draco? I have to go to talk to Hermione about something in my office? Do you think you'll be alright on your own for an hour or so?"

He looked at me incredulously.

"I am not a child harry."

I sighed

"I know - I'm sorry. I just… worry about you"

He smiled into his cup of coffee, trying to disguise how this statement affected him. As he put his coffee cup down, I watched his Malfoy mask slip into place with a slight frown. I hated that mask.

"Touching harry, really. But don't worry about me. Go talk to granger. I'm fine."

"Alright if you're sure…"

He couldn't help but smirk through his remark;

"I'll try not to burn the house down but… no promises"

**Draco **

I chewed contemplatively on my bite of waffle as I watched Harry exit the room and walk up the stairs to his study. First he doesn't talk to me all breakfast, and now a mysterious meeting with Granger. I mean it's not like he's particularly chatty most mornings, but usually I at least get a few words and a smile out of him. But today, it was as if I didn't exist. It's like he was avoiding me. Hm. I wonder what this is all about?

Could this be about last night?

Oh shit. This is definitely about last night.

He seemed fine with everything this morning, but now that he's clearly had all breakfast to process everything, he's obviously changed his mind. He's going to tell Granger.

What if he kicks me out?

Oh my god. Can he even kick me out?

I suppose he could always get a transfer, get another Auror to look after me. Who am I joking? No other Auror is going to want to babysit an ex death eater, it's a miracle potter has agreed to it at all. And now this.

What's going to happen to me once he kicks me out? I have nowhere to live! The ministry is trying to unfreeze my accounts and estates as quickly as possible, but it's a long process, could take weeks, even months more.

I'm going to have to live on the streets.

Potter is going to have to get rid of me.

My heart is going to shatter into a million pieces. I could already feel it starting to go.

My vision started to swim as the panic sunk in. The realization that I could very well be alone on the streets getting hexed by the general public was too much for me to handle and I felt the edges of my vision start to darken. The last thing I thought of before I hit the floor with an impressive thump was his face and how much I would have liked to wake up to it every morning like I did this morning.


	19. December 5: How important

a/n: just two days ago I said I wanted to post once a day, and then yesterday, lo and behold, no post. What's with that? Well I shall tell you. I had this chapter ready for last night, but the interwebz in my house had a failure. Sorry it's late my lovlies. Toodles.

**Chapter 19 – December 5: How important **

**Harry **

The floo roared to life with a shower of green sparks. I sat comfortably by the hearth, my head still reeling with confusion at my quasi epiphany. Hermione's worried face peeked through my hearth, motherly concern evident in her eyes.

"Harry?"

Her question pulled me out of my hazy reverie.

"Oh right. Mione I really need to talk to you. Can you come through? It's important, and I'd rather do this face to face."

She looked briefly puzzled but assented easily enough. I stepped back from the hearth and she stepped through with a grace that it took me years upon years to master. How this woman was raised without any traces of magic is beyond me.

"Harry? What's wrong you look awful!"

I was surprised at this comment. I had actually thought I was starting to look healthier. I was finally getting some actual sleep, with Ginny barely a ghost of a memory.

"I do?"

"Well, I mean, you look better than I've seen you in a while" she continued, unabashed; "but awful nonetheless!"

"Well gee, thanks mom."

She rolled her eyes at me. Her voice began to adopt her businesslike tone that she only got while dealing with her most difficult patients at St. Mungos. When she busted out her motherly concern and healer attitude I always knew I was in for the third degree.

"Harry. What's wrong?" I could sense genuine concern radiating off her in waves. "is it Malfoy? Is he hurt? "

I sighed impatiently.

"Mione! Draco's fine." I took a deep breath "but he is why I wanted to talk to you."

If she was surprised by this turn of events, she didn't show it. She raised an eyebrow as if I should continue.

"Well you see, last night he had a nightmare, and I went in to wake him, and see if he needed anything and, well, I ended up staying the night in his bed."

She cut me off. Not rudely, merely clarifying her facts. I was her newest and most interesting puzzle and she wanted to know what the pieces were.

"You slept in Draco's bed to comfort him after his nightmare?"

"Yes. But that's not all"

I knew Hermione too well for her to be able to mask her surprise and slight panic as well as she would have liked to.

"I mean, that is all, kind of. I didn't sleep with him. I mean I _slept_ with him, but I didn't sleep with him sleep with him."

She cut off my rambling with a wave of a hand.

"You and Malfoy didn't have sex. Moving on"

"I think I might have feelings fo –"

We were interrupted by a loud crash from downstairs. Her comically wide eyes met mine for a brief second before I was hurtling out of the room and down the stairs. When I entered the kitchen and saw Draco on the floor my heart flew out of my mouth. Nothing else in the world possibly mattered at that moment. The only thing that I was worried about was the unconscious blond on my floor, surrounded by breakfast items and spilled coffee.

"Draco?"

I knelt down beside him, trying to check him for signs of conciousness. When I found none, I started to panic slightly. I slid to the floor next to him and pulled him onto my lap. I cradled him in my arms all the while calling out his name. I rocked back and forth with him in my embrace for eternity. Time froze at that moment. I was so worried about him in that moment. I almost didn't notice his eyes starting to flutter. I just held him close to my chest and murmured his name brokenly. I was barely aware of sitting in a puddle of cold coffee and waffles, but that didn't matter. Only he mattered.

My heart started beating again and my breath rushed out of my chest when I heard his hoarse voice:

"Harry?" he croaked "Harry what happened?"

"Oh my god, you're ok." I hadn't even realized I was crying until I noticed the wet, slightly darker patch of his hair where I was resting my cheek. "Thank Merlin you're ok"

We sat like that for a few more moments.

"Draco. What happened?"

He winced.

"I passed out." He said simply.

"Why?"

"I thought you were going to kick me out. I had a panic attack. I haven't had one since Azkaban"

I held him tighter at the mention of that godawful place.

"Draco. I'm not going to kick you out. What gave you that impression?"

I pulled away, to get a better view of his face, but he stared sheepishly at the ground.

"I thought that after last night and breakfast, and Granger that you were freaking out and going to send me away. Then I got to thinking that no ones going to want me and-"

I cut him off mid rant. I laughed slightly.

"That's the problem Draco"

"What's the problem?" he asked puzzled.

"I wanted to talk to Hermione because I was confused. Because I thought that I did want you. I needed to talk about my feeling and figure myself out."

Hermione spoke from the doorway, for the first time making herself known.

"Well Harry, if this doesn't answer your question I don't know what does."

She was right. I had never reacted this way for anyone I didn't care deeply about in a crisis. Draco was important to me. And only time would tell me exactly how important. But if it was up to me I would have a long time to figure it out.

He interrupted my train of thought.

"Harry? Why am I covered in waffle?"


	20. December 24: It's Tradition

a/n: for the record, both twins are alive. They aren't as fun separated.

**Chapter 20 – December 24: It's Tradition**

**Draco**

Since the episode in the kitchen, Harry and I have been distant at best to each other. We eat together, and live together, because we have to but we avoid more than necessary interactions. We sit on separate couches, go to bed at different times, and I would never in a million years let Harry catch me in his pajamas again. Not saying I don't still wear them, because I totally do. But not outside my bedroom.

But here we were, Christmas eve and I was in the one place I never thought I would be spending my Christmas. The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration with your loved ones and family, but it seemed this year, I would have to be accompanying Harry to whatever he deemed appropriate for the Holidays. Not that I really had anywhere else to go. All my relatives and friends were either dead or in Azkaban. The closest thing I had to a friend was Harry, so I suppose it was fitting that we spend Christmas together. What I did not expect however was our location.

The burrow.

If you had told me, in seventh year, that I would end up at some point, helping the new Mrs. Weasley, previously Hermione Granger, cooking a turkey the muggle way on Christmas in the Burrow, I would have found you the name of the best mind-healer money could buy. But here we were. I was arm deep in a turkey in a bustling Weasley house.

This place was much like I would have pictured it. Small ginger tinged children running around, many ginger men, consuming copious amounts of Firewhisky in the living room, and Harry Potter completely at ease with the whole thing. The strange bit was the fact that I wasn't bothered in the slightest. Here I was cooking like a muggle with the Weasley family and all I could think was how cozy the Burrow was, and how much the family seemed to love each other. I was almost jealous. Absurd to think a Malfoy would have anything to be jealous about from a Weasley I know, but still, their house had the warmth and atmosphere I had only dreamed of as a child.

Harry walked in from decorating the tree with a small red-headed girl in his arms. Rose seemed quite taken with Harry and he with her, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight. Something about children always gets to me. It's one of my deepest darkest secrets that even Blaise doesn't know. I have always wanted a child or two to spoil mercilessly and love to bits. But I suppose that's a lost cause, seeing as I can't stand the thought of women after knowing Harry and no orphanage in their right mind would give a child to a "death eater".

As I finished with the turkey Hermione shooed me out of the kitchen, claiming that it was too crowded and I was too spacey to be of any real help. I rather like this new Granger, or I suppose Weasley. Motherhood has been good for her, mellowed out her insufferable know it all nature and made her just a clever, kind hearted witch. I sidled into the living room, stuffed to the gills with a huge tree, and more people than should conceivably fit under one roof.

The tree was pink polka dots, presumably work of the infamous ginger twins that wreaked havoc over Hogwarts for all these years. Hermione was going to have a fit when she saw that I could gaurentee. For now I was content to oversee the proceedings from the corner of the room in the only open seat. I wasn't part of the conversation, but I didn't really need to be. I was comfortable with them, but that didn't mean they were comfortable with me. They accepted me sure, but they were wary, and reluctant to let me in to their traditions.

The littlest Weasley apparently didn't get the owl because he teetered over to me and reached his pudgy little hands up into the sky. He had a look of intense frustration on his small round face.

"See me"

He said, in his little baby voice.

"What?" I asked him, slightly confused.

He made a grabbing motion in the air again and impatiently repeated himself.

"See me!"

I looked down at him doubtfully.

"I dunno little guy, I don't think your dad will be very happy about that"

His round eyes started to fill with unshed tears as he tried one last time.

"See! Me!"

"Alright, alright little guy, I see you"

I reached down to pick him up and placed him carefully in my lap. He immediately snuggled up to me and promptly fell asleep on my chest as I hummed him Christmas carols. I caught Harry's eyes from across the room and there was something in them that I couldn't quite read.

Harry

A brief and rare lapse in Weasley conversation alerted me to the thought that I hadn't seen Draco in a while. The last time I saw him he had been helping Hermione in the kitchen, and I knew as well as any that once that woman got a helper, they were like a slave to her the rest of their life. I looked around for him and I couldn't find him until I caught a reflection of white blond from the corner.

He was sitting in a huge armchair that still overwhelmed his tiny frame. He was beginning to look healthier and human again, but he was still too skinny. His hair was starting to get shiny again, finally clean of all the filth of imprisonment. But all of these things paled in comparison to the look on his face.

A look of sheer adoration and happiness lit his whole face up from the inside and he stared down at little Hugo snuggled against him. He gently and absentmindedly stroked the back of the tiny toddler and from my seat I could see his lips moving slightly as if he was singing or talking to the sleeping little tot.

My heart melted in my chest when I saw him with Hugo. Before I could stop it my mind had morphed the scene. Instead of sitting in the Burrow, he was sitting in a rocking chair in my sitting room. He was seated close to the fire, but not close enough to scare him like I know fire does. He was healthier looking, having put on more weight, finally to a weight that a healthy man should be. And instead of cradling a small red-headed boy against his chest he held a small black haired boy. Harry knew it could never come true, but his heart could dream.

Ever since I had been a small boy all I wanted was a real family. But by leaving Ginny and admitting to myself that I cared deeply about Draco I guess I was giving that up. That was unless I could somehow convince an orphanage to give a child to a couple made up of two men. But I wasn't counting on it.

Hermione called us all to dinner and Weasley men don't need to be called twice to food. Even little Hugo perked up from Draco's lap and stumbled toward the kitchen on his tiny little legs. I walked over to Draco, admiring the look of contentment still on his face. He stood up and brushed off his robes.

"Coming to dinner?"

"Actually Potter, I was thinking that I would just sit out here alone. Of course I'm coming to dinner."

A slight creaking overhead drew my attention. A bough of mistletoe had grown directly over our heads, the Burrow somehow deciding to redecorate on its own. I must have made some small noise because Draco looked up too. We both caught eyes with a shocked expression.

"I suppose were going to have to-"

"It's tradition"

I don't know who made the move but it was lips on lips, soft and chaste, yielding into something more, mouths searching, caressing. And before it could progress farther a furious voice interrupted.

"What the FUCK is this?"


	21. Dec 24: A Slytherin After All

**a/n: firstly I am terribly sorry at the delay. My computer is being a douchewaffle. Anyways sorry that Ginny's such a bitch, but she is. *the views of that particular character infuriate me, and do not in anyway reflect my views* anyways. Love you all. **

**Chapter 21: A Slytherin After All**

**Draco **

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!"

I nearly whimpered at the feeling of Potter pulling away from me. After finally getting what I wanted for all these years, to have it cruelly wrenched away by a poorly placed Weasley. It was unthinkable. My mind was snarling its indignations. But then I saw Harry's face. The dazed "I just kissed my former enemy" look faded quickly to be replaced with a look of acute horror.

Ginny Weasley.

Oh sweet Salzaar. This was not good at all.

"Ginny" Harry replied coolly. I couldn't help but admire how collected he seemed in the face of the fuming woman.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On.?" She all but snarled back at him, her face twitching in anger.

"Well, Ginny, Draco and I are living together, as you probably know, on command of the ministry, and recently we have become friends."

"That certainly didn't look like friendship to me _Harry_" she sneered his name contemptuously. "And as for _you_" she started rounding on me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Just because you're clearly a _queer_ doesn't mean that you need to _infect _Harry with your _ways_"

I sputtered furiously for a moment trying to dredge up an appropriate reaction. In the end I didn't need to because Harry stepped protectively in front of me, pushing me towards the door. I could feel his raw magic crackling around me in his anger. When he spoke next he was deathly quiet and calm.

"Draco, I think you should leave, for your own safety. You don't need to hear this."

I reluctantly followed his instructions, slinking out into the hallway. I found a hidden alcove that I could easily view and hear the going-ons without being seen myself. I cast some concealment spells and stood in wait. I could still hear everything clearly as they weren't exactly being quiet.

"Is that what you think this is Ginny? Are you honestly _jealous_ about this? _You_ left _me_ remember. And how _dare_ you insinuate that one being gay is a disease, one you somehow, densely believe in _transmittable_, and two that Draco was doing anything untoward or taking advantage of me in any way."

She glared furiously at him, and I shivered involuntarily at the intensity of her gaze.

"Why on earth else were you kissing that _thing_"

He scoffed.

"Honestly Ginny, I think you would have learned by now that insulting my friends is not only an extremely stupid thing to do, but also rather dangerous. I've been known to get rather _possessive_"

She gaped.

"You would defend that _scum_, at the cost of hurting _me_?" she spat furious.

He chuckled darkly.

"As if you could possibly believe that you deserve any of my pity or protection after what you did. Running off with Dean like that."

She floundered, clearly shocked for a moment.

"Oh _please_ Ginny, you knew I would have found out about that. I'm not dense enough to believe that you both just co-incidentally left the country at the same time, right after you left me with no explanation."

She had the nerve to look scolded and apologetic.

"Don't you dare look at me like that! I don't want your fucking pity Ginny."

She inhaled deeply, clearly regaining her fury.

"Oh _clearly_," she taunted "you look like you've found exactly what you need in this filthy _death eater_. I hope you at least managed to change the sheets between him and me that you didn't forget in your haste to bed him."

Harry got even quieter in his fury I now had to strain to hear him. The magic was now audibly crackling in the air, if I hadn't been so far away; tucked behind a wall I would have been petrified.

"How dare you insinuate that you had anything at all to do with this? As if I would ever _use_ Draco as a _rebound_. Plus, apparently you're too dim to realize that he was only released from Azkaban" he visibly cringed at the word "long after you were gone. And not that it's any of your business, but no, I haven't slept with him. He means more than that to me. He isn't some _fuck_ to be used and dropped."

His voice lowered to a whisper, and I almost didn't catch what he said: 

"Like you should have been."

Her face darkened to a shade I had previously only had the ability to see on the older weasel in school. Dear me, it seemed all the Weasley's turned that unattractive shade of puce when infuriated.

"What did you say to me" she snarled.

"You heard me Ginny." He raised his eyebrows in challenge. "You were a poisonous bitch who only wanted me for my money and my fame. Don't think I didn't notice you hounding the glory, all the fancy restaurants, and Quidditch games. Don't think I didn't notice you slipping out at all hours of the night, probably to see Dean. But I didn't take notice of that because I thought that I loved and trusted you. Look where that got me. You were power hungry. You never loved me. You loved the idea of me sure, but not me. You loved and fucked the _Great Harry Potter_ but you didn't give a shit about _Harry_."

Her face softened but remained its hideous puce colour.

"Harry, you know that isn't true."

His quiet temper suddenly snapped the air heavy with his power. He snarled loudly at her.

"Ginny, you would think after all these years, I finally have you figured out." He laughed harshly. "And the Ginny I knew as a boy, before she became a deranged gold digging whore, would have wanted me to be happy."

She sneered. Not a good look on a Weasley I'll tell you.

"And that _thing_ makes you happy?"

He got quiet and serious again.

"Yeah Ginny, he does. Happier than you ever made me. Because unlike you, he gives a shit about _Harry_ and couldn't care less about _The Great Harry Potter_."

She looked utterly outraged and confused. I could barely hold in my laughter at her facial expression. But I wasn't taking the risk that they realize I was still standing here.

"He can never give you the things you need harry. You know that."

My heart sunk in realization when I understood what she was getting at.

"Who the hell do you think you are, knowing what I need?" he growled.

"I know you need to be loved and comforted, need to be secure, you need family. You need someone who can look after you, but let you look after them too. He can never give you that, any of it."

He laughed humorlessly.

"Shows what you know Ginny. He's been better for me than you ever have. He lets me take care of him like you never did, he's not afraid to admit that he's weak. Not above being human. And I love that about him Ginny. And as far as family goes, I have Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, and Hagrid, I don't need you."

She sighed sadly.

"You know that isn't what I meant by family"

"What? You think you're better because you can give me a child? Is that what this is? I love him Gin. That's all that matters."

"Just think about what you're doing Harry, about all the things that he did to you."

"I don't need you to control my life Ginny. Not anymore. You gave that option up when you left."

She sighed.

"I can see that I'm not going to make you see sense, at least not tonight. I think it's best if I leave."

He exhaled slowly.

"I think that's probably a good idea."

She left the room and I felt the magic recede back into harry startlingly fast. He seemed to deflate after his huge fight, collapsing into the sofa. He buried his face in his hands and exhaled deeply.

"holy shit" he murmured.

I sat gently beside him and wrapped an arm around him. He seemed to tense up, only now realizing I was there. He then relaxed into my embrace leaning back and resting his head on my shoulder. I leaned my cheek against his hair and ran my hand soothingly up and down his arm.

"How much did you hear?" he asked quietly.

"What do you think?" I asked amused "I _am_ a Slytherin after all"

He chuckled lowly.

"I should have known you wouldn't leave." He said sadly. "I'm sorry about all that you know. What she said"

I sighed.

"It's not your fault."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, processing the fight.

"Did you mean it?" I finally asked hesitantly.

"Mean what?" he asked feigning ignorance.

"You know." I sighed impatiently.

"Yeah, I did" he finally said, slightly reluctantly.

I smiled to myself.

"We should probably go to dinner; the rest of the clan probably wants to know what's going on. Nosy bunch those Weasley's"


	22. December 24: Announcements

**Chapter 22: December 24 – Announcements **

**Harry **

"We should probably go to dinner; the rest of the clan probably wants to know what's going on. Nosy bunch those Weasley's"

I chuckled at Draco's obvious attempt to distract me from the fight, and the awkwardness I felt I had about admitting my feelings, however indirectly to Draco. Also the fact that he hadn't returned the sentiment.

He stood and meticulously wiped his robes of the cat hairs which coated The Burrow ever since Hermione took it over. I couldn't help but smile at the way he looked bathed in firelight, here in the place that was always the closest thing I ever had to a home. He really was beautiful.

He turned and offered me a hand off the couch, pulling me slightly harder than either of us had anticipated. I stood up faster than I intended and ended up running into him. My arms instinctually wrapped themselves around his waist, trying to keep us both from toppling over. His found purchase on my shoulders as I righted the two of us. We stood like that for a moment, chest to chest, locked in an accidental intimate embrace before one of us closed the distance in a desperate, needy kiss. Hands and lips everywhere. Tugging at hair, running up under shirts. Closer, closer, closer. We just couldn't get close enough. I kissed down to his neck, sucking on it insistently, marking him as mine, proving to everyone, proving to Ginny, exactly who Draco Malfoy belonged to.

"Seriously you two?" a voice asked exasperated. "we've been waiting for at least half an hour!"

Another voice piped in, clearly in assent.

"Get your hands off each other for like five minutes so we can have dinner!"

I felt rather than heard Draco growl.

"How many more times are we going to be interrupted tonight?" I heard him mumble under his voice. I smirked knowingly at him and he blushed slightly.

"Fred, George, calm down guys. We're on our way."

Draco grumbled.

"Ginger twin menaces, ruining a perfectly good moment. Fucking Weasleys…."

I chuckled at him and then leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"If you behave I promise to make it up to you later"

He glared up at me. But it quickly dissolved into a devious smirk.

"well then, lets get going!"

He pulled me towards the kitchen with a speed and enthusiasm that I hadn't seen from him in a long time. He shot a beautiful, genuine smile over his shoulder as I laughed in delight at his exuberance

Fred and George stood side by side in the doorway, twin grins on their faces. They finished

"Whatever you said harry…"

"…seems to have gotten young Malfoy's attention…."

"…naughty boy..."

"…we're proud to call you our brother."

We walked into the kitchen, and sat down in our respective spots. There was enough food to feed three or four large armies, and would have made the house elves from Hogwarts quake with envy. Every possible holiday dish was here in multiples, while a battalion of red-headed men and their significant others crowded around the table. A small gathering of children of all ages were crowded in the corner around a miniature version of both the table and the spread.

I took my seat on the right of George, Draco beside me. each of the Weasleys beamed their greeting to us, welcoming us to the table. Ron toasted to family and the holidays, reminding us of our luck to be alive, to have everyone after to the war. We toasted to love and tradition. After hearty swallows all around, it was time for the traditional announcements and personal thanks.

It started at Ron and Hermione. They took a deep breath, looked at each other and then Ron couldn't contain himself anymore. He turned with the biggest smile I've ever seen and announced to the table:

"We're having another baby!"

The table cheered their congratulations. Charlie was the next to speak. He looked at the handsome brunette beside him before addressing the group.

"Olli finally said yes after all this time. The bonding ceremony is set for next summer. You're looking at Charlie and Oliver Weasley-Wood!"

The table burst out into excited questioning, curious about the details of their engagement. They proceeded to field the questions expertly, telling the story in excruciating detail, swapping the focus back and forth in a way that only the most impressive couples can manage. I've always thought they were perfect for each other.

Draco leaned in close to whisper in my ear.

"Do they always do this?"

I chuckled.

"Yeah, every year."

He sighed quietly. By this point we were past Bill and to Fred and George. They generally liked to give their announcments together, seeing as neither of them were married or dating, and all they really had to announce were their business ventures. Also they had that mildly irritating habit of finishing each others sentences.

"so this year there isn't really…"

"…much new going on for us…"

"…but we are expanding WWW to…"

"Hogsmeade! We bought out Zonkos!"

At this we were all genuinely surprised. There had been no indication that Zonko's was going under. Hogsmeade was the perfect place for WWW to expand. Their market would grow exponentially. I was especially proud of their success, having given them the means of starting out in the first place. They had really made something of themselves over the years.

Then it came my time in the proceedings. An awkward lull fell over the table. I never really had much to say around Christmas times. So I knew they weren't really expecting me to say much, if anything. But this year was different. This year I actually had something to say.

"Well, you all know that Ginny and I broke up almost a year ago. And if you heard any of the gossip circulating in the papers, or heard our fight earlier you would know that she left me for Dean Thomas. And before you all say anything, I know she probably had her reasons, and I'm not mad. To be honest, I'm happy for her. I think I've finally realized why things never worked out between us. We were never really in love. We both loved each other sure, but we weren't _in love in love_. What I'm getting at is, I think I know why that is. Guys, I really hope this doesn't change your opinion of me, or anything, because I assure you I'm exactly the same Harry I've always-"

"Mate, just get on with it!" Ron exclaimed impatiently. "I'm hungry enough to eat a hippogriff!"

Hermione cuffed him on the back of the head and gave him a very impressive stare I'd only ever seen on Molly Weasley before. I grimaced slightly and continued.

"What I've been trying to say is…" I took a deep breath "I'm gay."


	23. December 24: Coco

**Chapter 23 - December 24: Coco**

**Draco **

"What I've been trying to say is…" Harry took a deep breath "I'm gay."

There was a moment of heavy silence and then Charlie burst out laughing.

"Oi Mate. I already knew that. Took you long enough to figure it out"

Oliver laughed along with him, joined by the twins. Hermione just looked smug. Apparently she knew as well. The only one who looked blindsided by this was Ron. Typical weasel, so oblivious to everything around him.

"Am I the only one who didn't know about this?" he asked incredulous.

Harry laughed.

"Seems that way mate."

Ron huffed.

"Why am I always the last to know about anything?"

I merely laughed at him.

"Oh Weasel, it's not everyone else's fault you have no powers of observation."

He blushed.

"Whatever Malfoy"

Hm. It seemed that he had developed some form of maturity since five years ago. Way to go weasel. I was last in the rotation and I felt extremely awkward, not having anything to say to these people who clearly didn't like me.

"Let's eat before Weasel goes cannibal and consumes some of the children."

He glared at me, but my comment diffused the awkward tension I felt and allowed us to start our meal. From then on conversation flowed effortlessly, Harry and the Weasleys talked for hours about everything and nothing. At some point most of the children had left in favor of playing in the other room. But then I felt a tugging on my robe. I glanced down into a pair of chocolate brown eyes. Hugo. His tiny little hands reached for me again and I knew with Weasel and Hermione as parents, he wouldn't give up easily.

I hoisted him into my lap, without gathering the attention of the whole table and I just sat and listened while Hugo buried his face in my shoulder. He squirmed around for a moment, trying to get comfortable. Harry glanced over at us and reached out a hand to pet Hugo's hair. Hugo reached his pudgy little hand up and grabbed on to Harry's hand. He fell asleep nestled on my shoulder holding Harry's hand. Harry caught my eye and we shared an indecipherable glance. I felt what I can only describe as my soul falling into place. I had never felt more complete in my life than that moment. If only all of this was real.

**Harry **

With my far hand in Hugo's pudgy grip I had to shift closer to Draco so my arm didn't fall asleep. I casually slung my arm over the back of his chair, hoping that no one would notice. This felt right. It was that moment when I knew that I had made the right decision. I suppose it wasn't so much that I was gay as I was dracosexual. I only wanted him. I wanted him, and everything that came with him. His baggage, his loves and hates, his dreams, his past and most of all his future. That's what I wanted. I wanted him heart and soul. Now I only had to tell him that.

Dinner finished uneventfully. That is until Ron and Hermione noticed exactly where Hugo was nestled. A strange look crossed Ron's face, a bizarre mix of almost trust, worry and confusion.

"Uhm Harry. Why exactly is Hugo sleeping on Malfoy? And why are you two so cozy?" he asked puzzled.

"Hello Weasel, I'm right here you know." Draco huffed, clearly annoyed. And cleverly sidestepping the second half of the question.

"Ron it's ok, I'll go get him. It's past his bedtime anyways"

Hermione stood up, putting a placating hand on Ron's shoulder. She rounded the table and went to gently rouse Hugo. His tiny hand tightened on mine and he burrowed even closer to Draco.

"Hugo sweetie, wake up, Mommy's going to take you upstairs and put you in your jammies ok?" She cooed at the sleeping toddler.

"No!" he mumbled sleepily. "wanna stay with Coco"

Hermione started, clearly surprised at the turn of events.

"Come on baby, lets go"

He squirmed away from his mother.

"No! Coco!"

Hermione looked at him incredulously, frustration creeping into her voice.

"Hugo. I'm going to count to three"

"Really Hermione, its fine he can stay here. I don't mind" Draco murmured, clearly loving the attention that the little boy was giving him.

"COCO!" Hugo yelled petulantly.

Hermione sighed exasperated and shot and apologetic look at Ron. He smirked. 

"Well you heard him Coco. He wants to stay with you"

Draco sneered at Ron. It seemed as if he would have a brand new nickname in the Weasley household. Coco. It was cute. Very un-Malfoy, but I liked it. Hm. I'm not letting him live that down. Not in a million years.

**Draco **

Dinner finished up and we all proceeded to the living room to say our final goodnights. It was there that I began to contemplate our sleeping arrangements. Where on earth will we house all of these people? Hermione clearly had a plan. Typical Granger.

"All children over 3 will be sleeping down here in the living room, any ones younger than that will be with their parents. No doubt they will be getting us all up bright and early to open presents. Charlie, you and Oliver will be sleeping in your old room, Bill you and Fleur will be in yours, Fred and George, you know where you're sleeping. Percy will be in his room, Ron and I are in Molly and Arthur's old room, and Harry…" she paused for a moment. "Well… you see, you and Draco are going to have to share Ron's old room, because we don't have enough space for him to sleep anywhere else. I hope you don't mind"

My heart soared. Finally a chance to be alone with Harry. We haven't really talked since the morning after the night he slept in my bed, but now we have the whole night to spend together… Weasel's irritating voice broke through my hurried planning.

"That is unless Coco wants to sleep down here with all the children… seeing how popular he is." He stifled laughter.

I sneered at him. Before I could get a word in edgewise Hermione chipped in.

"Would you guys like me to drag out the old cot?"

Harry scoffed.

"Really Hermione, we're wizards, we could transfigure something if we had to." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "But Draco and I aren't children, I'm sure we can manage to sleep in a bed together for one night."

She smirked knowingly at him. Oh I did not like the way she looked right now. That woman was up to something, or my name isn't Draconis Lucius Malfoy. Which I assure you, it is.

"So it's settled then" she clapped her hands in dismissal. "Goodnight everyone"

Goodnight indeed, I smirked. Good night indeed.

**DINNER **

**HUGO  
AFTER DINNER**


	24. December 24: Harry's Pajamas

**Chapter 24 – December 24: Harry's Pajamas**

**Draco **

I flung myself onto the bed from the doorway, squinting against the hideous orange colour that covered the walls. Only a Weasley would have a room dedicated to the Cannons. I sighed, and took out my wand, casting temporary glamours on the walls. They would hold until the morning. I'd rather not develop a migraine thanks to Weasel's horrendous colour choice. Harry snickered from the doorway where he waited.

"Grey? Really?"

"What's wrong with grey?" I asked puzzled. "It's better than that _orange_"

He laughed.

"I would have expected something a little, I don't know, warmer. Yellow maybe."

Hm. It seems Harry's more observant than I give him credit for. I shot him an amused glance before standing up and going to my bag. I rifled through it for a moment trying to locate that elusive item. Why is it that whatever you want is always at the very bottom of a bag? Ah. There they are.

Pajamas.

More specifically, Harry's pajamas.

My back to him I quickly stripped my clothes off and slid on his pajama pants. I turned around to him, a challenging smirk on my face. What I saw there though really caught me off guard. There was a darkness in his eyes. Some predatory gleam lurking just beneath the surface. I had heard Weaslette say something about him being possessive. I shuddered under his gaze, locked completely in place. He stood, still in the doorway eyes raking over my exposed chest.

"Can I help you Potter?"

"That really depends, _Draco_"

He nearly purred my name, and it was the sexiest sound I had ever heard. Holy shit. I am going to have to find a way to make that happen again. And then all of a sudden something shifted. We weren't frozen anymore.

He started stalking towards me, that dark glint still lingering somewhere behind his eyes. He approached and my body instinctually backed up until I was flat against the wall. He took one last step and then he was pressed up against my body, trapping me against the wall. He towered over me, his body huge and protective against mine. He stared down at me, his head bent. I stretched up on my toes to meet his mouth as he bent even farther to meet mine. Lips met lips and we were locked in a slow, lingering kiss. His hands locked around my hips and pulled me impossibly closer. My hands ran up his strong back and found his comically messy hair. Only now it wasn't comically messy. It was soft and perfect and thoroughly mussed from my hands, telling of naughty things. His lips became harder, more insistent on mine and he pressed me harder into the wall. I couldn't hold back a gasp any longer and in that moment his tongue breached my mouth. We battled in unfamiliar territory, learning, mapping. Passion mounted, left us forgetting our names. I pulled away from him as my head begun to spin from lack of oxygen and laid my head against his shoulder, breathing into his collarbone. He let out an involuntary shudder. We stood there panting for a few moments.

**Harry**

I backed up slightly from the wall, pulling Draco with me. I held him securely against me still but now I was far enough away from the wall that I could hoist him into my arms. I lifted him and he wrapped his legs around my waist. I turned us around and walked towards the bed, all the while never losing sight of the molten silver that I had somehow inexplicably fallen in love with.

I lowered him gently to the bed, crawling on top of him. I braced myself on either side of him so that I wouldn't crush his still tiny frame. I stared down at him for a moment, just taking in his face. I pressed gentle kisses on his forehead, nose, cheeks and finally his lips. From there I moved to his jaw, down his neck and to his collarbone. I sucked insistently, marking him again. Peppering my ownership of him all over his body. _**Mine**_ something in me growled and I couldn't help but agree. Mine indeed. _Forever._

I must have accidentally said it out loud with my thoughts. Because something in his eyes smoldered as he breathed his assent.

"Yours" he agreed.

I stared at him in wonder for a few moments, loving the sight of him ragged and panting below me.

"So beautiful" I murmured.

His breathy voice interrupted my train of thought once again.

"Harry. Stop being a Hufflepuff, and get those clothes _off_."

I couldn't help but smirk at his impatience.

"Now, now, Draco. Patience."

"Fuck patience." He growled. "I've been waiting for this since I was old enough to know what this was. Clothes off. Now."

I pulled away from him, sitting back on my heels but still straddling his hips.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Merlin Potter! CLOTHES OFF!"

"If I take them off, will you tell me what you mean?"

He snarled.

"Fine. **Now.**"

I shimmied off the bed and the look on his face was murderous. I held up a finger. His anger settled slightly. I slowly started to strip my clothes off, his eyes taking in my body piece by piece. His eyes lingered on my chest, trailing down my abdomen and to the edge of my boxers. He raised an eyebrow at me as if I should continue. I smirked and shook my head, stalked back to the bed and crawled back towards him, straddling his waist.

"Alright spill." I smirked.

He groaned.

"Seriously harry? You can't do this to me!"

I pouted.

"You promised." And as an afterthought I added "Coco."

He frowned at me but then sighed deeply.

"Fine" he mumbled, clearly hoping I wasn't hearing. "I've wanted this for 12 years. Since I was 11. Since I offered you friendship that day on the train."

I gasped as my mind started reeling.

"So that means everything… all those things you said… holy shit."

He got quiet all of a sudden. He all of a sudden seemed so small. I rolled off him to lie beside him, staring into his suddenly vulnerable face as he tried to avert his eyes.

"Yeah. I was... jealous I suppose. Hurt that you didn't want me. And scared. Scared of the way I felt, and also of the fact that you held so much power over me without even knowing it. I just wanted you to notice me. That was the only way I could think of."

I pulled him into me and kissed his forehead. I held him tight to my body and thought hard about the next words to come out of my mouth.


	25. December 24: Admissions

**Chapter 25 – December 24: Admissions **

**Draco **

I lay there for a few minutes internally panicking. I had just spilled my deepest darkest secrets to none other than Harry Potter, and he has yet to say anything of it. My heart and head were in overdrive. My heart started to take precautionary measures and disconnect from emotion as quickly and efficiently as possible. The fact that I was securely wrapped in his arms barely registered in my mind as I started freaking out. He cleared his throat and I tensed for the worst. He clearly felt my body freeze up because he began rubbing his hands soothingly up my back and he pressed a gentle kiss into my hair.

"Draco. You are an insufferable prat, you're conceited and spoiled, and you have this way of grating on my nerves like no one I've ever met. I have never met someone who infuriates me the way you do. You drive me absolutely bat-shit crazy."

I could feel my heart shriveling as I took in his words. I knew I deserved them, but it didn't make them hurt less.

"But you're also the most amazing listener, you're kind and genuine, and Merlin you can be funny when you aren't being a git. You're so beautiful. Inside and out. You're a completely different person than the boy who I went to school with"

I couldn't stop the lightening I felt in my chest. My heart was practically soaring out of my ribcage.

"So you're difficult, there's no doubt about that, but somewhere along the line, everything changed. Somewhere along the line you changed. I changed. And everything I've felt about you these past few weeks changed."

He took a deep breath. I didn't dare interrupt him for fear he wasn't going to get to his final point. I could feel his heart thudding in his chest.

"Somewhere along the line, I fell in love. I fell in love with the stupid way you flip your hair when someone's annoying you. I fell in love with the infuriating way that you fight me over eating breakfast. I fell in love with the way that you let me hold you when you were scared, but always panicked after, because it was cute. I fell in love with your fears of the fiendfyre. And Merlin if I didn't fall in love with your eyes, and the fire that burns behind them. Your passion."

My heart was doing back flips. This is the moment I have dreamed of since first year.

"I fell in love with you Draco. And it's ridiculous, and scary, and yes, maybe a little Hufflepuff. But that's not going to change any time soon. I want to hold you while you sleep, and wake up to your funny morning hair. I want to wake up to your grumpy morning attitude and placate you with enough caffeine to power a small village. I want to take thousands of pictures of you and post them all over my house, and send them in Christmas cards, and maybe even for no reason at all, I want to prove to everyone who's you are. Who's I am"

Oh Merlin Harry. I want that too. So badly. Please don't be lying to me. I don't think I'd survive.

"I want to kiss you and mark you and love you. I want to have you for the rest of my life. I want to fix you and make you whole again. I want you body and soul forever Draco. Please."

I took a deep breath finally ready to tell him my side of the story. I barely registered the tears running down my face at his admission.

**Harry **

I was utterly spent at my admissions but I couldn't help but be terrified at his acknowledgements of it to come. What if he, after getting a feeling for me, decided I wasn't worth him anymore?

"Harry I swear to Merlin, if you ever scare me like that again I will hex you to next century."

He admonished me thoroughly and I couldn't help but smile.

"Fuck Harry. I love you. You know I love you. I've always loved you. Since day one. Even before I knew what love was I loved you. And now after all this time I'm finally getting what I want, finally getting you. And I'm never going to let go because I haven't waited this long to get what I want just to have it taken away from me. I love you through and through. Not like that _Weasley_. I love you for _Harry_. all those stupid habits you have, all those things you think that no one notices but they do, I love all of them."

This was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. This was it. I knew what I had to do.

I pulled Draco off the bed and to his feet. I grabbed him tight and stared deeply into his eyes.

"Hold on ok?" I repeated myself seriously. "Whatever you do, just don't let go"

With a loud pop we disapparated and I had the familiar feeling of being sucked through a straw. With a thud I felt my feet hit the ground.

**Draco **

I looked around. Where on earth were we?

We stood in the sand, just meters away from the crashing surf. It was dark outside but the stars above sparkled over head. The moon was huge and round and was refracted in the water. My breath caught in my throat at the beauty of the place and again at looking at harry. The moonlight caught his hair and eyes perfectly. He was a god.

"Draco."

My heart stopped beating at the look on his face.

"I know this is going to seem, probably a little ridiculous."

I couldn't help but puzzle at that.

"More ridiculous than randomly apparating me to a beach in the middle of the night?"

He chuckled.

"That's going to seem like nothing compared to this."

I wisely shut my mouth, figuring he would come out with it uninterrupted.

"Draco. This is probably going to seem sudden but, I love you. I want you heart and soul. I want you completely and utterly. You are the most amazing person I've ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So I guess what I'm saying is…"

He sunk down to his knees in the sand and I couldn't breathe.

"Will you marry me?"

**a/n:**

**so that's basically the end… there will be an epilogue…hope you enjoyed it : ) **


	26. Epilogue: December 24, 4 Years Later

**EPILOGUE - December 24, 4 years from now:**

**Draco **

"Merlin Harry! You'd think that by now we would have gotten the hang of the whole getting places on time thing. Ron's probably devoured half of the wizarding population of England by now!"

I huffed impatiently, tapping my foot to the ticking of the clock. He glared at me in frustration.

"Well maybe if you actually helped me for once…?"

He glanced through his bangs pleadingly. I sighed in defeat.

"Move your hands." I brushed fumbling awkward hands from a silky tie. "Stop squirming!" I mumbled under my breath. "I'd like to get there some time this century…"

I tried meticulously to flatten the ridiculously unruly black hair I was faced with. He huffed at me and I couldn't help but glare in impatience.

"Caelum James Potter-Malfoy. I mean it young man. Stop squirming or I'll hand you over to your aunt Hermione. Don't test me. You know I will."

That shut him up. His wide grey eyes got impossibly round and he stood stalk still as I tried to adjust his hair into some semblance of normalcy. Oh Caelum. Why are you so stubborn? I suppose you would have to be being raised by Harry and I. You were doomed.

Ever since we adopted Caelum he's been trouble. Takes after Harry I suppose. That's not the only way he takes after Harry. Merlin the boy looks so much like him. And me I'm told, but its harder to see my influences. That's the best part of a blood adoption. Although Caelum isn't physically our child, by blood adoption his genetics change so he is as much a Malfoy or Potter as he would be if somehow it were physically possible for us to procreate. Which it clearly is not. I shudder to think what would have to go on _down there_ for that to happen.

After finally deeming Caelum's hair beyond salvation I took his tiny hand in mine and led him to the floo.

"Harry. Seriously. We have to go. Now."

He chuckled from the other room where I could hear him banging around in a drawer. He emerged, a huge smile on his face. I would never, ever get tired of that face. Sweet Salzaar he was beautiful. His arms were laden with presents for the enormous Weasley clan. He smiled at me.

"Ready to go?"

I growled.

"I've been ready to go for hours."

He laughed.

"who would have ever thought you would be so eager to go to the Weasley's?"

I felt a blush creeping up my face as he said that, but I merely shrugged. I lifted the basket that lay beside the hearth into my free arm. Couldn't forget that. Harry and Caelum went through first, and I watched my boys leave with a warmth in my heart that words couldn't define, but I wouldn't trade for the world.

**Harry **

We rushed into the Burrow and took our designated seats. We glanced around and muttered our apologies looking down sheepishly when Hermione glared at us pointedly.

"Good thing you guys got here now…"

"… Ron was about to faint…"

"…Poor guy hasn't eaten in almost a half hour!"

Ron glared at his two brothers affectionately. He was however, eying up the food on the table like a man who hadn't eaten for days. He hastily began his speech.

"Alright, now that Harry and Company are _finally_ here, we can get started with this year's announcements!"

George piped in.

"And then Ronnikins can finally eat!"

Hermione and Ron divulged details about how Rose was in her first year at Hogwarts. A Gryffindor, like we expected. She was top of her class and on the Quidditch team already, making both of her parents exceedingly proud.

George held hands with his girlfriend of 3 years. Him and Angelina had finally gotten together and were talking about getting married. Fred had somehow inexplicably ended up meeting Luna in Diagon Alley a year and a half ago, and they announced that they were going to be moving in together.

Charlie and Oliver were happily married living in Romania. Training dragons and playing Quidditch, respectively. Fleur and Bill told of visiting Beauxbatons where their two daughters went and where Fleur taught charms. They were blissfully happy. Percy of course was busy at the ministry, and Ginny didn't come to these gatherings anymore. Arthur and Molly had joined us this year, back from an extended vacation where they had their vows renewed in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary.

Now it came time for Draco and my announcements. And this year we, unsurprisingly, had another big one to drop on everyone. I reached down in between Draco and my chairs and grasped the handle of a woven basket. I pulled it up onto my lap and gently brushed a shock of brown hair off a tiny forehead. Tiny green eyes rimmed with silver blinked slowly awake. A tiny mouth opened in a soundless yawn. Everyone around the table strained to see what was in the basket, earning tender touches and glances from Draco and I.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Cassiopeia Lilly Potter-Malfoy! Her blood adoption just come through a few days ago and we wanted to introduce you all to her."

Coos of adoration erupted all over the table as Draco gently scooped her from the basket she was resting in. He turned her to face the entire Weasley clan and picked up her tiny hand.

"Wave to everyone Cassie!" he murmured softly.

There was a blur of red around the kitchen and I felt a tiny body slip in between Draco and I and I looked down to warm brown eyes widened in excitement. Not so little anymore Hugo was practically thrumming with excitement.

"Uncle Coco, can I hold her please?"

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Only if you stop calling me that insufferable name!" he sighed in affectionate frustration "Weasley's, they never change."

**A/N: and that's the end. That's all she wrote. Like literally. **

**I'm thinking of writing another story… but I'm not sure. **


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